As Vashti prepares to fly out to meet me to see “Be Here Now” for the first time, she shares her thoughts, fears and brave clarity about this next step…and reminds us to embrace our individual journey…and choose to make it extraordinary…
Go to Maybe McQueen to read it or read the full text below
http://www.maybemcqueen.com/being-here-now/
Lilibet & The Be Here Now Team
Being here now…
by Vashti
I am here packing my bag for the trip tomorrow and writing little notes to go under the ‘cubs’ pillows for every night that I am away. In my head, rolling around is the question that everyone keeps asking, with their face slightly grimacing; with the anticipation of how incredibly challenging they think it will be for me.
‘How are you feeling about watching the documentary?’ asked again and again and again.
When I think back to how I felt this time last year as we ventured off away from home, I see myself like a skeleton, bony and bare and so unprotected, with very little of anything holding me together. But this time as I leave my nurturing, safe and leafy street, along with the soft, reassuring and familiar skirt, that I have held onto and hidden behind for so long, in this little city of Sydney, I leave a very different woman, one that has gratefully grown so very incredibly strong.
I am excited and nervous, about the opportunity to go away and close my 39th year exploring, experiencing and I guess adventuring into such uncharted territory. I feel privileged and in awe of the opportunity to watch and reflect on such a significant part of our lives, to relive and experience such a raw and beautiful love and to observe it all, with a perspective that has time travelled forward.
I am also aware of the sadness that has begun nestling in my stomach at the thought of watching my beautiful mans light fade, as I, from my chair, live and breathe in today knowing that he did not get to see tomorrow. I am apprehensive of feelings that I have firmly put to the side, that have me question my contribution, my love and my support… was it enough, could it have been more and what if, what if, what if.
But as much as I can entertain those questions that hurl me back into the world of unanswerable, I now know that I have the capacity to choose to walk this chapter with a very different mindset and in honour of the legacy that my man; with his blue eyes blazing, wanted so passionately to leave behind, I am utterly ready, like a woman in the first stages of labour, to breathe, focus, trust, surrender and scream as loudly as I need to, to birth this incredible story, into LIFE.
See you on the other side…..