WANNA SMASH TVs AND ANSWERING MACHINES AND CROCKERY AND CHRISTMAS ORNAMENTS IN THE BACK OF A TRUCK WITH THRASH METAL, STROBE LIGHTS AND SCREAMING MANIACS?

...of course you do.

You can do this at the Lost Horizon Night Market VERY SOON (official invite imminent). It is a convergence of box trucks somewhere in the city with god-knows-what going on inside them. We'll find out where on Friday or Saturday.

Look, you have issues. We all know this. So before you go doing something to get yourself a small headline in the New York Post, work them out in the Smashtruck's Enclosure of Mayhem, aka the Cathartagon, aka the Chamber of Interpretive Deconstruction.

You will be provided:

• EYE PROTECTION
• An IMPLEMENT (baseball bat, steel pipe, maybe nunchuks)
• Some stuff to SMASH
• Appropriate / Inappropriate SOUNDTRACK
• EMOTIONAL SUPPORT from people ill-equipped to do so
• A BAND-AID if needed

And you will leave with a profound sense of peace.

NEW NEW NEW BACKER INFO!!!!!

$25 PLEDGE GETS CHOICE OF GUARANTEED SMASH (limit 30) OR T-SHIRT!

$50 gets guaranteed smash (something good), soundtrack choice, and t-shirt!

Here's what the market's about if you don't know:

http://www.wired.com/underwire/2010/05/lost-horizon-night-market/