Critical Hit is released to the public
Pass it around to your friends and loved ones. Here's the link:
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Pledge $5 or moreYou selected
Be on the leak list to see the video(s) before they premiere. • Receive production updates while we shoot. • Rest easily at night knowing that a robot has been programmed to pray for your wellbeing seven hours per month.
Pledge $10 or moreYou selected
Full behind-the-scenes web pass: making-of video logs, director's notes, redacted scenes, Dickclarksian blooper reels. Access so intimate that you will want to clear your web cache afterwards. • 14 hrs/month of robot prayer
Pledge $25 or moreYou selected
Receive in the mail one DVD of the videos and their makings-of, as soon as the last video is done. (Add $5 to this level for international shipments.) • 28 hrs/month of robot prayer
Pledge $35 or moreYou selected
Exactly the same as the previous enticement, except that MC Frontalot will sign the DVD before mailing it to you. This casual addition of sharpie ink qualifies yours as the Deluxe DVD Package. What a rip off.
Pledge $45 or moreYou selected
The Ultimate Director's Cut DVD Package contains no ultimate director's cuts or other additional features. It is the same DVD as in the previous two packages, except now it bears a post-it note from MC Frontalot, expressing thanks. This written gesture might seem like basic human decency, but in this case it costs you another ten bucks. • To sweeten the deal, the robot will be instructed to pray for you 40 hrs per month.
Pledge $100 or moreYou selected
Advisory Producer credit. Your name in the credits at the end of the video. Just think, those chumps who only pitched in enough to get the Director's Cut Package will have to look at your name go by whenever they enjoy their DVDs. • You also get a free orange shirt. It is the upcoming tour shirt for the new album, "Solved." • 80 hrs/month of strictly enforced robot prayer
Pledge $200 or moreYou selected
Your producer credit is upgraded to Executive Advisory Producer. MC Frontalot will insure that your name appears under a different heading and in a very slightly larger typeface, differentiating you from the lowly Advisory Producers. • A one-panel webcomic by MC Frontalot (who isn't very good) which will be about your mom. You may optionally supply the name of your mother for personalization. • The prayer robot will spawn a dedicated process which prays only for you, 160 hrs/month. Intense.
Pledge $500 or moreYou selected
Welcome to Executive Producer. Besides your dominant crediting, this donation level gets you: • A several-second theme song about your name. Frontalot will compose and record. Perhaps you will use it as a ringtone. • A three-panel comic about your mom • A Certificate Of Legitimacy that MC Frontalot has forged on your behalf • A tote bag • 400 hours of dedicated-process top-quality robot prayer
Pledge $1,337 or moreYou selected
MC Frontalot emails you a util that has been secret for a long time. It is a keygen that a hacker built after solving the Painstakingly Concealed Secret Track on the album Zero Day. It will allow you to very casually hack your way past that puzzle, in the manner of a script kiddie. • You are awarded a membership in the beta program for the impending MC Frontalot text adventure. • MC Frontalot will personally text you a picture of his penis (ascii picture format). You may later use this to blackmail him and dash his political aspirations. • You receive source code for the prayer robot, so that you may twist it to your own dark bidding.
Pledge $2,600 or moreYou selected
MC Frontalot will record a brief song featuring the noncommercial topic of your choice.
Pledge $6,400 or moreYou selected
MC Frontalot will fly to your house, plug into your home stereo system, and perform a selection of his raps for you. This will happen sometime after fall tours, and you must not try to transport him beyond the continental USA.
- (30 days)