Kickstarter

If you donate one dollar, you will receive a thank you. This thank you will be delivered in spirit, or possibly in email, or even more possibly via Kickstarter message directly from comedian Myq Kaplan's Kickstarter account, curated by the aforementioned Myq Kaplan, who has typed these very words to assure their validity and authenticity. (Thank you for reading them... that's an advance on your future thank you.)

If you donate $5, you may submit a word to be incorporated into an episode of the podcast. You will receive the satisfaction of having made a notable change in the world, at least with respect to this podcast. PS If you donate to one of the higher levels, you may exercise this option as well if you choose. (This new reward was suggested in a comment by a backer, and seemed like a fine idea. So here it is.)

If you donate ten dollars, you will receive a thank you on an episode of "Hang Out With Me." If you want. Your name will be pronounced as correctly (or as incorrectly) as possible, and so will the words "thank you" or "thanks" or "word" or some other variation thereof.

If you donate $25, Myq Kaplan (the comedian, podcaster, and person responsible for these words being typed into your face right now) will make a Youtube video (let's say around a minute long) dedicated specifically to thanking you for that $25 or more. PS You will also get the on-air shout-out of the $10 reward, if you desire it.

If you donate $50, Myq Kaplan (the human being, robot-seeming, and person beaming these words into your brain right now) will make an even LONGER Youtube video than the $25 people get (let's say around three minute long, triple the time for only double the money) dedicated specifically to thanking you for that $50 or more. PS You will also get the on-air shout-out of the $10 reward, if you desire it.

If you donate $75, you can have an individualized 16-bar rap song created specifically for you, based on your name (or whatever, if you're in witness protection maybe), by comedian/rapper extraordinaire Zach Sherwin AKA MC Mr. Napkins (whose work you can see at www.mrnapkins.com). Zach is a friend and musical contributor to the show, currently working on what will be the theme song. Sound good? If you get one of these, it WILL sound good.

If you donate ninety-nine dollars, you may come into the building where our studio is located while we record an episode of "Hang Out With Me." You will be able to listen through the door and receive a thank you on air, and you can yell a response that maybe will get picked up by the microphones. Conversely, for one more dollar (see $100 reward), you may enter the room and talk into a microphone.

If you donate one-hundred dollars, you may come into the studio while we record an episode of "Hang Out With Me" and be thanked in person as part of an episode. You have to get to the studio on your own, though. I mean, we'll tell you where it is. It's not like a math puzzle or a treasure hunt with a pirate map. Or maybe it is, but way easier. We'll tell you what X equals.

If you donate one-thousand dollars, you may come into our studios to be a guest on "Hang Out With Me" for the entirety of one episode, during which you may be thanked (or not, you get to decide). We reserve the right to edit the conversation, but mostly for things like if you yelled racial epithets the whole time, in which case your thousand dollars will have been very helpful in the overtime costs for our editor. (We also reserve the right to determine what things are similar to racial epithets, conceptually. We also reserve the right to reserve other rights, like a genie granting wishes for more wishes. To ourselves. Genie's prerogative.)

If you donate ten-thousand dollars, we will travel to your home (provided it is located somewhere within the continental united states) and record an episode of the podcast from there (if you want us to), featuring you and one other person of your choosing as guests on the show. (The other person has to be a willing participant. We are not really genies, despite implying otherwise above. Though we wish we were.)

If you donate $10,000 but do not want anything in return, you win the satisfaction of knowing that you had $10,000, and probably still have more than that remaining (otherwise you have made a poor business decision).