Invisible Conversations?

Do you have invisible conversations? I do. You know, they're those conversations which begin up in your head, but never make it out of of your mouth. They happen in all of our relationships, but when they exist with those who are closest to us, they can wreak havoc in our lives. Invisible conversations with parents who are aging can be especially painful, because of the disconnect at a crucial time of life.

Here are some examples:

Jane's mother and father have continued to live in their family home. During her last visit, Jane noticed her father was more forgetful than the last time she saw them. Knowing how her parents value their independance, she doesn't know how to approach the conversation about his health and their future plans.

Henry and Carolyn are worried. Their brother, Sam, is living with their mother. Sam has had a rough few years financially and they wonder if he is taking advantage of their mother's generosity.

Susan and her father have always had a complicated relationship. She has tried to put the past behind her so they can be closer, but she is having a hard time doing it. She doesn't know how to make peace with her father before it's too late.

I wrote "The Invisible Conversations (tm) with Your Aging Parents" as a way to aid adults to begin or continue the conversations they want and need to have with their parents as they age. Now that it's been released (self published in January 2012, ebook in March 2012) I need to get it into the hands of the people who need it most.

The Project: Let's Get Talking...A Book Tour

From August through October 2012, I will embark on a cross-country conversational experience I'm calling "The Invisible Conversations with Your Aging Parents Book Tour." I will visit big cities and small towns, speaking at different houses of worship, civic groups, assisted living facilities, or any other place you want me to go. The more funds raised, the more communities I'll be able to engage. We'll talk about the ways in which you, as a spouse, adult child, neighbor or friend, can connect on a deeper level with those you love as they age. We'll talk about how to begin or continue conversations on issues such as: maintaining the right documents; driving safety; acting as a patient advocate for your parent; communicating with siblings; taking care of yourself as a caregiver; recording family memories before it's too late; completing unfinished business, among many other topics.

A traditional PR campaign is costly and doesn't necessarily reach the person this book is intended to touch. That's where you come in. Together, we can get this very user-friendly book into the hands of those it can really help. The way this works is that unless all of the funds are raised within 30 days, the project doesn't happen and no one's credit card is charged.

Here's how the funds will be used:

Travel costs for 3 months: $7000 including airfare, car rental, hotel, food 

 Printing and Shipping of books: $4000

 Website update $1600

 Kickstarter and Amazon administrative fees: $1400 

Total: $14,000

I've already been out speaking in the New York and surrounding states speading the word about "The Invisible Conversations with Your Aging Parents" this Spring of 2012 and I'm already schedule to keynote at 2 conferences/talks later this year. Here are some other events:

Darby and Friends radio, WGCH AM radio, May 8,2012:

http://archives.warpradio.com/btr/wgcharchives/Darbyandfriends/050812.mp3

Here's what others are saying about the book (since its 2012 release):

"With helpful lists of conversation-starting questions and moving case histories, White's direct, compassionate tone and crisply crafted writing will be appreciated by readers who need pragmatic strategies to better communicate with their fading parents." --Kirkus Reviews    

"This book is like having someone verbalizing all the questions and what if's you have on your mind. It answers all your questions, and provides you with the right questions to ask your parents and the professionals working with them. I highly recommend having this book on hand to refer to during your journey through life." 
                                                                                        Nina, NY                          

 "This book is a must-read for anyone who is dealing with an aging parent. It is an easy read that is filled with smart strategies, suggestions for conversation starters (including conversations with your siblings and caretakers) and actionable advice. The author brings a lifetime of experiences as a minister who has helped families through the many challenges associated with caring for loved ones as they navigate through aging and the dying process.
Clearly this book covers a heavy subject, but rather than depressing you, this book will leave you feeling empowered and hopeful."    Nancy, CT