Good morning Twig friends.

So, it came to my attention (from a couple of friends )  concerns (for me) regarding my last update. They were concerned that my day to day experience was that of failure and lack of accomplishment. They wrote to reassure me and I appreciate this.

I wanted to clarify that I write and share this creative and life process with you because I seek a certain transparency of self. To be seen through.

During the day...there are periods of not much thought ....where I find myself moving about in a very present state.  And then thoughts come in that would suggest I am somehow 'less than' or not enough.... ....that I need to strive to become a better version of me. It seems to me this is possibly a common experience ...one of vacillating from a state of present awareness to a non-present state. I don't think I am specially afflicted this way :)

Now sometimes I can be particularly amused by the absurdity of the "shoulds" my mind comes up...worthy of a laugh or a shake of the head. And then sometimes I get caught...I forget....and there I am, attaching to a painful belief about myself. And it is only when I am attached to these thoughts that I find myself suffering. Telling myself I am disappointed, angry or frustrated "by life".

When I find myself in this place of believing painful thoughts about myself I often become quiet (sit or lie down) bringing a deep presence to these sensations in my body. I watch mind try to tell me I have always been this way and life will always be this sort of 'painful experience'. If I am able to bring presence to this experience it is like inviting the unwanted in ....'inviting the monsters in for tea'  the saying goes.   There is space for these sweet monsters to breathe and have a life. They have simply been misunderstood and taken for a real threat.  Cultivating awareness in this way shines light on that which was previously unconscious and helps me see and experience the true nature of reality.... Then I can notice that these sensations(anger disappointment etc) not only change immediately but that it is their inherent nature to be in flux..... everchanging and undulating like waves in the ocean.... rising and falling and disappearing. Each rise falls back into the whole of the sea of non-being or non individuality.   What I thought to be anger can hardly be called anger any longer. Disappointment is rendered unrecognizable...all becoming a meld of amorphous sensations with no good or bad implications to be found.  The illusion has broken and I am adrift in mysterious deep dark waters of blue nothing.  I love my path. It is perfect.

The thought that "I have enormous things I haven't accomplished in life", or that I have "little time and much to accomplish on so many fronts"   are nothing but a particular movement of mind that would keep me from experiencing the present moment. I am grateful to have the ability to allow these things to pass and fall back into the nothing place from whence they came. They are not real even if I believe them for a time  This path has changed how I see life unfolding and rather than things happening "to" me (victim)- I am beginning to see how all things are happening 'for' me....each moment being an opportunity for me to wake up to my true unconditional nature... to my wholeness with all that is.

This project(Twig) is perfect.  Remember I said my biggest challenge would be to navigate through the story  "I can't do this". Well that remains the biggest challenge! And , again, I notice the project IS happening . Albeit slowly! It is happening and i am very happy for that. What is it that will be brought to me today that I think or will feel insurmountable!?...... I remain curious.

Thank you to each one of you,  again, for your contribution to Twig. For my ability to work on this project and these particular challenges. in gratitude.

So, just as I was typing out the last bit of this update I kept hearing this wren outside carrying on...she was going crazy. I thought to myself....it sounds like she's upset because there's a snake out on the ground or something...so I head out to the deck for a look-see and this is what I found.....

 rat snake. I have seen her before several weeks ago , in the wood pile. We even saw a 12 inch long new rat snake baby...I assume hers. I have been looking for her but hadn't  seen her since.

I love how dark, smooth and rich the tail end is

Bout 30 feet up. She literally went up the side of this tree! I would have thought a snake would wrap around the tree to get up it but she went straight up the face. Unbelieveable!. She came down the same way. head first straight down the side.  I thought fer sure gravity would get her. nope. wow. very interesting. excited I saw her today.

I looked up snake spirit, snake totem......

here is a short answer...

http://www.linsdomain.com/totems/pages/snake.htm

Here is a longer article on snake medicine if this sort of thing interests you.....

http://otteronarock.com/january-totem-snake-transmutation/

hmmm, mysteries of life....I am excited.

be well, Heidi

Earth Shaman face evolution

Hello Twig Familia....

small update today. Although most of what I have been posting here in the last month or so has been all about the theatre,  I have, behind the scenes, been cogitating over the Earth Shaman. I was not pleased with the former face/mask I had paper mache'd so I just let it sit in the background for a while. Recently I was beginning to feel somewhat stressed that no ideas ... nothing was coming to me regarding the Shaman. Then, last week, I had a sort of emotional purge. Giving tears of anger and disappointment about this and that and the seemingly enormous things I had not accomplished in this life. I just let it have me. Shaking and hyper-ventilating about how little time I have and how much I need to accomplish.(not just this project...career, family, personal fitness and health, financial stability, etc....)

And, darn it, every time I am in this place it  feels like I have ALWAYS and FOREVER been this way and I shall ALWAYS and Forever BE this way.....even though I remind myself this isn't so. it's like there is this ridiculous loss of time and perspective that seems to be an integral part of the unfolding process.

I consistently forget to trust this deep unfolding....(what the hells up with that????)         So very interesting and yet........not.

After coughing and sputtering myself to sleep I awoke the next morning quite clear feeling....and quiet.... very quiet inside.

 I always forget how wonderful it is after I just let it have me. after I surrender to all the stories of who and what I think I should be. Let it all wash over and through me....there is a peace and clarity.

So,  floating about in my new fangled peace of mind I decided to sculpt a small model of the Shamans face. And again, I found the head frustrating to me...even though i was closely replicating the shell that had originally inspired the Earth Shaman, It just looked funny.  So, I just sat  with him for a short bit....

Then I saw something 'new'....I really like his face...just not his round head(looks too alien) soooo....I cut his face off of his head. Now it actually looks more like a mask...which I really like. (I added some antlers too, of course:)

This also would solve the problem of how to make his mouth move if the mask was made from a rigid material. Without the 'head' to interfere I can just hinge his mouth

You see here, if I hinge his mouth ... To make the mouth open I just pull back on the chin.

And if you look at his chin-piece it kinda looks like an eagle head totem - beak pointing down. See it? that came out of cutting his face off. It wasn't really there before. So, When I wear this mask on my head the Eagles beak will come down over my forehead...kind of a neat reveal.

Then I went back again and changed his eyes - the shape, as well as, moving them slightly out to the side of the head to give a more "creature", less human, look to him.

he is slowly evolving...I am slowly liking who he is. hmmmm, sounds familiar.(hehe)

I want him to look kind and wise. Ancient and stoic. He will be playful too.

And now I am playing with different horns and antlers just for fun(and practicality)

 as I allow myself to have a breakthrough it creates an openess ....a space from which to create from. 

Space is a neat word. I was given this word a month or so ago by another artist who upon seeing one of my puppets offered up this word to me and it has really impacted me and how I want to create puppets. To make a puppet that is not such a solid material representation of an idea but to create space ..changing this solidness to something less defined, more open, more metaphorical. Hence the mask of the Earth Shaman has more space and openness than sculpting his entire head.

Theatre Trimmings....

new curtain rods for the theatre. Yes! the old ones were fine but the new ones are better!!

old ones

new ones...yay

wooden dowels

stained to match....looks sharp , eh?!

Dome!

Got me a a dome #2 from the thrift store! very exciting!

ok kids. thats all i got fer now. love to all and to all a good night.

Heidi Ho

Hello Twig family,

went to Columbus last week to get some much needed supplies. As well  went to the museum and saw a wonderful display of European puppets...

Museum...

The museum exhibit is called Strings Attached. Of course , aside from loving the fact that they are carved from wood, I really was most intrigued by the mechanics and joints on these puppets....

Foam

 So, last week I made some calls to find out how much foam costs.....a piece 12"x12"x12" is $26!!!!!!!!. CRAZY! so, I was like ok...there has to be another way....Well, there is! I called some upholstery shops and found one (Fortner Upholstery) and they said..yes, please come get our old foam!...no one will recycle it! some of it is old foam some of it is new pieces that are too small for them to use.

They have a giant wooden bin (the size of a dumpster) and you can just help yourself.

This will hold me over for a bit! all free

Ground Sphere..

At a thrift store I found this plastic lamp-post globe for 3 bucks! I thought I could cut off the top half and I would have a small sphere....one of the  spheres that will go on the ground in front of the theatre. It will have a glowing light under it to help illuminate the puppets and define the performance space

marked the cut line with tape

Cut with a jigsaw.

Perfect mini sphere...10" in diameter. I envision the larger spheres to be more like 2 feet in diameter. keeping my eyes peeled for something to make those out of...maybe old skylight bubbles! Way cheaper than having them vacu-formed which cost about $450 for 6 large and small spheres.

 Attempting to make a wraparound design for the sphere....unsuccessfully I might add. I discovered that to work with polyfoam or L200 I really need a heat cutting tool. the stuff doesn't cut very smooth with scissors or a blade. I may just go with fabric or something of that nature...will have to experiment with materials.

Design elements for the theatre

drew out the theatre on clear acetate so I could use a dry erase pen and add design elements ...then I could simply wipe clean and start over...

of course, still playing with design and border ideas for the front of the theatre....the eternal process.

Here's the backside... I want to add a design feature on the doors. something subtle. to change the shape a bit so it isn't so "square-box" looking

I thought this simple design with curving corners would be just the right touch. except when I looked at the shape on the theatre it didn't actually look good....hey, whats that all about?

So, i tried a little different idea...first in paper

then in cardboard. the finished design would be in 1/4" birch plywood. Painted dark like the theatre...so basically just a slightly raised relief. something to give it a little depth..hmmm. don't like this one...looks a little too spidey-like.

so, I went with another shape. kinda like this one the best so far...but to be honest. I'm not sure I'm likin' this whole idea at all. 

of course in the finished piece that little half inch trim would go all the way around the doors

and yet another design....

it was somewhat a frustrating day.  I came to absolutely no conclusion on what to do....so I will sit on it. Until next time.... love and love from the Twig Tangled Forest.

heidi

Ok, so this was quite a poignant moment for me and Twig. We've been at this for a number of years and I must say I got a bit emotional as I attached the 'TWIG THEATRE' sign/lettering to the theatre/cart...

The inspiration for the lettering/font started with an event I was invited to last weekend, a "wellness" open house....they wanted something fun!  So,  I offered to set up a little demo table to share my puppets and  talk about the creation process of Twig Theatre. Me in my little corner of the room!  It was a great experience! 

Getting ready for the event I painted  the little sign  you see with the white lettering .......

I looove this lettering. I found it on a deck of Tarot cards. I really like the white lettering with all the darkness of the theatre (dark wood , dark lanterns, leather etc)......it adds a snowy, lightness to it. It just goes together. So,  it appears, Twig is ready for her lettering!

drew the letters out the right size...on wood of course. (scrap cherry wood John had available in the shop) Each letter will be cut out

This one will all be one piece....

cut out on the bandsaw

big TWIG letters sanded on an old school "bandsander"

Tricky here ....using a drill press to bore out all the wood in between the letters. Of course, originally I wanted to chisel everything out...I imagined it looking like an old handmade wood sign but alas I was told that would take a very long time(as I would soon see!). so, I took all the amazing shortsteps I had available and still was able to eventually achieve the old look I wanted.

moving down to a smaller bit to get in between spaces

ok, starting to do some chiseling. I like the circus feel of this picture with the red and yellow and the little circles at the top of the wood

then I got smart as I saw just how long that was taking- I got out the router and routed around each letter....yay!

A dremel with a nice round bit created a nice chiseled relief look....you can see on the left side of the sign . that was amazing....the transformation was a lot of fun. THis was day 3 I think.  Hilarious, originally I thought it would only take me a coupla days to draw it all out and chisel it all away! Chiseling would have taken me weeks!

Here they are....a preliminary look on the theatre....a very exciting moment.

I put them close together to see how they are looking but imagine them farther apart like the last photo.

Then I went to work carving all the little 'dots' to go under the appropriate letters. I love it!

next step is to paint the letters white.....ok, I felt a little hesitant to paint the wood but did remind myself I could take it off if I didn't like it. I like the white so that it pops out amidst all the dark of the cart... want folks to be able to see it right away.

Here are the letters in white...I will probably do a wash over the letters so they are not SOO white. they will look a bit like old bone...with some dark in the cracks.

I also have to do the dots for the big TWIG letters- I AM having the sense that I like the wood lettering naked better....but am trusting that when it wll comes together the white will really work.

 I will include some better photos next update....seeing the letting on the cart now inspires me to work on the border framing the letters....yes it will be a wood border....again, something Art Nouveau...a bit more curving and undulating than the brown paper you see here. Maybe I will chisel it.....:)

thanks for tuning in guys! Oh yeah found this coolio item at the local antique store....something from the 70's...looked to me like an old school clamshell light that you would see on an old theatre stage ....the audience sees the shell side and a light emanates from behind/under it- illuminating the stage! It was $3!!

must    m...a..k..e        m...o..r..e

Hello Twig family! I have some quiet time right now so I can finish the post from Sunday.

I have made a most wonderful discovery....cardboard and its amazing versatility and strength. I wish I had discovered the value of models and mock-ups 4 months ago. I would have constructed the whole earth Shaman from Cardboard...antlers, head , face, arms and hands. This would have given me something physical to see -the entire concept. It would allow me to assess his feel and appearance, scale, joints, movement, how to puppeteer him and many other things. Alas, I now know and begin where I am at!

some things seem so obvious in hindsight :)

So, I have known all along that I wanted the Earth Shaman to have long arms and large hands but exactly what those look like...I am not sure...so, rather than wait till I figure all that business out I decided I would try the cardboard thing. I challenged myself to use mostly cardboard and hot glue. And rather than going with long articulating fingers for the Shaman which might feel a little too 'witchy' I am going with bear paw type hands...Its a place to start anyways!

Hand

claws. look! the Earth Shaman has already been chipped with a barcode...should he ever get lost in the spirit world we will be able to find him.

hinge

foam paw pads and a little fur

cardboard corner protector...for arm

hand loop

hand attached to arm. The white elastic is for resistance

taking shape

minimal movement, the 'mechanism' needs more working over...this was a first attempt.

this is my favorite photo because it feels like his large hands hanging at his side...and actually I could even go bigger with his hands. See the Inuit Medicine Man below....

ooooh those hands!

found this at the local thrift store.  took off the outer shoulder pads

May use this as a type of inner framework to build the Shaman Puppet onto. It is rigid and padded...this is good.

Native Medicine Man ... Earth Shaman may look a lot like this general design. When I first appear (in performance) I appear to be moving in a Medicine Man type costume......until, that is, the Shamans head/face comes down off the top of my head and begins to move independent of me..... Arms reaching upward and outward.

I was initially going to hide all of MY body under the costume but am thinking this is not necessary to pull off the illusion of The Earth Shaman coming alive and being independent of me.

ok signing off for now. Am excited to play with more cardboard mock-up!

stay tuned, love to all, Heidi