Kickstarter

A handmade greeting card of thanks. Note that David Ellis Dickerson used to work for Hallmark, so the writing will be of professional quality.

Audio files of the story "How Xenia Stole Heaven," read mellifluously in David's mildly famous radio voice, and the brand-new story "How The Subway Got Its Roar." (Which is not a Xenia story, but if you like Xenia you'll like this one.) Plus the thank-you card once the tour's over.

During the tour, I'll be writing a book about the tour. At $35, you'll get chapters from the road as I write them. This means that you'll get the raw stories before I have to change people's names or other salient details for the print version. Saucy! Plus, of course, it's going to be a funny book.

You get on the book-in-progress mailing list just mentioned, plus you get a complete audiobook of The Exy Book once the tour's over and the canon is more secure. May contain new stories!

All the aforementioned, plus a copy of my previous road-trip-across-America book, "Travels With Ritalin." It will probably never be published conventionally (I think I traded the rights to Florida State University in return for my degree), but it definitely impressed my dissertation committee. No, really.

All the aforementioned, plus you are mentioned by name in an opening hymn of gratitude in the next edition of The Exy Book.

You become a character in The Xenian mythos! I can't guarantee you'll be a moral paragon, but I'll definitely make you symbolize something that matters. Since I don't control how these characters are used by the Xenian community, you could wind up in someone else's hymn as an object of worship whose popularity lasts for decades. I can't promise this will happen, of course, but it's something to think about.

As below, but in addition to naming a character after you, I actually do a video of the story you appear in (probably in Flannel-Rama, like I did with How Xenia Stole Heaven) and post it on my channel AND on the Xenia Facebook page. If the other participants like it, your story might become canon!

A signed hubcap from the car once the tour it over. Probably mounted in a frame if I can figure out how. Plus a dedication in every edition of The Exy Book AND The Exy Tour. (Note that this presupposes that the vehicle I travel in has all its hubcaps, and/or has replacements available for a non-insane amount of money. You might have to get a license plate or a taillight instead.)

Whatever car/truck/Segway vehicle I wind up traveling in, I name it flatteringly after you, and mention it at least once in every chapter. (Example: "By the time I reached Phoenix, the Lisa Patel Is Amazing was running low on gas...") At the end of the tour, you get a signed hubcap.