A digital download of the "Ghoul School" theme, written and performed by Phil Dickey (of Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin) w/ Brook Linder (of Dragon Inn 3). If this song doesn't scare you, you're already dead.

"What's happening in your neck of the woods?" asks The Today Show's Al Roker. You're about to find out with a subscription to Linus Mallory's "Ghoul School" magazine, the very same ghost-catching, conspiracy-busting publication from the film. It will be delivered via USPS with a bonus handmade ghoul finger puppet! Also, feast on your ears (?) with a digital copy of the "Ghoul School" theme.

Months from now the film will be copied onto a playable medium. It will include hilarious commentaries by Gregory S. Shultz, some sort of interactive feature involving Clay Mason, and much, much more. We're still working these things out, really. Whatever happens, you'll receive a DVD of the film + a handmade ghoul finger puppet, the "Ghoul School" magazine subscription, and a tight D.D. (digital download) of the theme.

We have no doubt Phil Dickey's "Ghoul School" theme will be a smash hit. Hear it the way it was intended to be heard, painstakingly recorded and dubbed to a cassette tape just for you. Oh, and bonus tracks? You bet. What are they? Can't tell. Let's just say Phil has been covering 80's film themes in his spare time because he's insane, and you'll hear them in all their lo-fi glory. Tight! + ALL OF THE ABOVE

Daniel Zender (http://danielzender.com/), an amazingly talented artist and overall good man, created an extremely limited-run piece inspired by "Ghoul School". It's gorgeous, and you'll receive a handmade screen print. + ALL OF THE ABOVE

Let's get this out in the open, Gregory S. Shultz, who wrote on "Ghoul School", is an evil genius. For your terrifyingly substantial contribution to the production of "Ghoul School", you will receive two never-before-seen, Ghoul-inspired, not-yet-created pieces by Gregory S. Shultz, "A Portrait of Fear" and "An Essay on Fear." Also, Greg will watch Jurassic Park and record a commentary. It won't be funny. + ALL OF THE ABOVE

Wow. I wish I could give you my car. Or Greg's car. I'm not going to come out and say "You can have Greg's car," but know I'm going to work on this. In the meantime, know you'll be credited as an Associate Producer/Head Ghoul. + ALL OF THE ABOVE

Here it is, folks. The bigtime. You've shown us your love, and we'd like to throw a little romance back your way. Clay Mason will pick you up in his 1995 Toyota Camry and take you on an expenses paid lunch date to Houlihan's. No romance required, but suggested. Enjoy your chicken strips and decent conversation. I can come too, if you want. No? Oh, okay. I'll be at another table. Watching.