Kickstarter

Pincher of Clams: This level is for peeps running their own kickstarter campaign who just want to make it look like they are backing a lot of projects but don't have a huge budget for such things. It's also for peeps who genuinely want to help, but don't have the clams for a higher reward. You gain the people's ovation and fame forever, also our eternal gratitude.

Surprise Me!: You'll nab one random miniature from the assortment. What will it be? It's in the hands of the gawds now...

Stinking Pile of Filth: You will receive your choice of ONE miniature from the initial set of nine.

Dingy Cremefillian Scum: You can nab TWO minis of your choice from the initial nine.

Book Werm: This option gets you just the hardcover Low Life core rulebook, signed and personalized, and no miniatures. Alternately, you can add $30 to any other pledge to add the book to another reward.

Other Book Werm: This reward nabs you a signed and personalized copy of the hardcover Low Life book The Whole Hole - A Gadabout's Guide to Mutha Oith - Volume 01: Keister Island. It's 228 pages of Low Lifey goodness. You can add $30 to any other pledge to add the book to another reward.

Being of Dubious Lineage: You'll slunk away with FOUR minis from the initial set of nine, but seriously, at this point you might as well fork over the fifty clams for the whole set. That's what the Bottomliners call "Using your noodle."

Discombobulated Tizn't: Will anyone choose this level, in which they receive FIVE minis? Maybe, although it makes more sense to chip in another ten clams and take advantage of the amazing deals offered at the next level.

Stench-Wrangling Smelf: At this level you nab unto yourself the ENTIRE SET of NINE minis! That's quite a bargain! Exclamation point! Also, you'll gain access to the STRETCH GOAL REWARDS (which may include six extra minis, pewter casting, decorative bases, illustrated character sheets, sweet sweet lovin', and other keen jazz).

Karmasuturist: Backers at this level nab the Limited Edition Karmasuturist Tizn't. That guy can also be had by adding $40 to any other pledge of $50 or more.

Cremefillian on a Mutant Land Fish: This is for peeps who only want the limited edition Cremefillian on a Mutant Land Fish miniature. If you'd like other stuff too, please add $45 to any pledge and you'll nab yourself one of these fancy, extremely limited miniatures.

More Artsy than Fartsy: You get your choice of one miniature from the initial set of nine EXPERTLY PAINTED by a professional miniatures painter. You can add $50 to any reward level to have one of your character-sized minis painted.

Ultimate Book Werm: You don't get any miniatures with this option, but you gain yourself signed and personalized copies of both the Low Life core rulebook and The Whole Hole. Add 60 clams to any other pledge to add both books to another reward.

Werm in a Balloon Made out of an Inflated Plorp: This is for peeps who only want the Werm in a Balloon Made out of an Inflated Plorp limited edition miniature. If you'd like other stuff too, please add $60 to any other pledge. This guys is almost sold out of the original 50, so nab one before it's too late.

Wistful Oofo Dementalist: You get the set of NINE minis, access to the STRETCH GOAL REWARDS and access to the SNAZZY GOAL REWARDS (here's where some badass Low Life monsters get added to the mix. That makes for a total of 15 character minis and up to 6 monstrous monstrosities).

Not-so-lowly Werm: Here's something for the ladies. Also for the men. Not only will you nab yourself everything a Wistful Oofo Dementalist gets, you'll also slink off with a hardbound, full-color copy of The Whole Hole - A Gadabout's Guide to Mutha Oith - Volume 01: Keister Island (retail: $29.95).

Hunky Horcish Hate-monger: At this level you gather unto yourself the original set of nine minis, access to all of the STRETCH GOAL and SNAZZY GOAL REWARDS and you gain access to the ULTIMATE SUPER ULTRA MEGA REWARDS (even more monsters, including the incredibly huge Uuulon Crepulos and the Queen Mutha multi-pack). Never since The Time of the Flush has a deal of this magnitude been offered to the Hoomanrace.

Great Cornthulhu: This is for peeps who only want the limited edition Great Cornthulhu miniature.You can also nab Cornthulhu by adding $100 to any other pledge of ten clams or more.

FIRST!: You get the same rewards as a Croach with the Moach, but you get to save five clams because you signed up first. Way to show some initiative, sport.

Croach with the Moach: Now we're getting serious. At this level, brace yourself, you get ALL OF THE EVERYTHING! You nab the original nine minis and access to the STRETCH GOAL REWARDS, SNAZZY GOAL REWARDS, ULTIMATE SUPER ULTRA MEGA REWARDS, and the just announced HOLY CRAP REWARDS!!!! That's a possible haul upwards of fifty miniatures, along with character sheets, decorative bases, posters, and all sorts of other jazz! Can you believe it? Neither can I, but it's true.

Croach With Even More of the Moach: Although I still don't know what a moach is, even more of it means you get everything the Croach with the Moach gets and you also get a hardbound, full-color copy of The Whole Hole - A Gadabout's Guide to Mutha Oith - Volume 01: Keister Island (retail: $29.95) OR a copy of the Dementalism card game (retail: $19.95).

Waremonger's Delight: This level is intended for retailers so they can hop in on the madness. You nab FIVE sets of the original nine minis AND access to all the STRETCH, SNAZZY, ULTIMATE, and HOLY CRAP rewards.

Croach With the Most Moach: You get everything the Croach with the Moach gets and you also get a hardbound, full-color copy of The Whole Hole - A Gadabout's Guide to Mutha Oith - Volume 01: Keister Island (retail: $29.95) AND a copy of the Dementalism card game (retail: $19.95).

Werm in a Balloon made out of an Inflated Plorp: You get all the things a Croach with the Moach gets AND you also get the special, LIMITED EDITION werm in a balloon miniature. This mini is limited to 100 total models and the only way to get one of the first 50, numbered, signed, and personalized along with a full color art print is to back at this level or to add 60 clams to any other level. This is kind of a big deal, apparently.

Waremonger's Delight 2 (The Revenge): It's just like the Waremonger's Delight except you get TEN boxed sets instead of five.

More Fartsy Than Artsy: You get the original set of nine minis, all of which are expertly hand-painted by a professional miniatures painter.

Waremonger's Delight 3: This includes every gawds-danged thing in the Waremonger's Delight 2 reward AND all four limited edition minis (the plorp balloon, Cornthulhu, the Karmasuturist, the cremefillian riding a giant mutant land fish.

Equal Parts Artsy and Fartsy: You get everything a Croach with the Moach gets but your original set of nine minis is expertly hand-painted by a professional miniatures painter.

Mutant Land Fish A(fish)ianado: Whoever nabs this reward, which can alternatively be had by adding $400 to any other reward of $50 or more, gets the original Full color drawing of the Cremefillian Riding a Mutant Land Fish, signed and personalized by Andy (Prismacolor pencils on archival Bristol paper).

ALL THE MINIS EVER!: You will get every non-limited Low Life miniature ever made by Mutha Oith Creations and Eastern Front Studios. You will get the limited edition minis offered with this kickstarter, but not ones offered in the future. You'll also get free pdf copies of the Low Life core rulebook and The Whole Hole.

Bottomliner: Here's an awesome way to impress your friends. You'll get everything a Croach with the Moach gets (I have no idea what a moach is) AND I (Andy Hopp, at your service) will work with you to create a Low Life character of your own design. This character will be featured in an upcoming Low Life book and WILL BE MADE INTO A MINIATURE, five copies of which you will receive. For an extra $200 you'll get a personalized copy of whatever book it appears in AND the original full-color drawing. My accountant is going to devour me alive for offering such an insane bargain...

The Q'ol of Cornthulhu: Whoever nabs this reward (you can alternately add $600 to another reward of $50+) gets the original full color drawings of both Great Cornthulhu and Rhed'boq Q'ol (Prismacolor pencil on archival Bristol paper). Each picture will be signed and personalized by the arteest (that's me, Andy).

The Personal Touch: Not that kind of personal touch (we'll talk later). I (Andy) will personally travel to your home, game store, or abandoned school bus in the desert and hand deliver everything you are entitled to as a Croach with the Moach. I'll hang out overnight, treat you to dinner, and play games with you all weekend (unless you get sick of me and want me to leave early). Please add $500 if you live more than 500 miles from Akron, Ohio. International peeps please add $1000 (unless you live in Canada and are less than 500 miles away).

Uppity Snoot: You'll get everything a Croach with the Moach gets (again, unclear about the whole moach thing), but it's ALL PAINTED (except the Tenemental)! That's absolutely correct: every miniature (but one) will be expertly painted by a professional painter and sent giggling into your eager hands (well, your eager mailbox first, then into your eager hands). This is potentially a bunsload of work, so it's quite a bargain. If you have the means I highly recommend you avail yourself of this service. Please add $300 if you want your Tenemental painted as well. That thing is huge.

Keistermeister: You get everything. Absolutely everything. Even that. You nab yourself one copy of every non-exclusive product Mutha Oith Creations ever produces. All the books, miniatures (except limited editions), games, and assorted whatnots. You also get in free to the amazing Con on the Cob (www.cononthecob.com) FOREVER! All the cool kids are doing it.

Uppitier Snoot: You'll get everything a Croach with even more of the Moach gets (again, unclear about the whole moach thing), but it's ALL PAINTED (EVEN the Tenemental)! You also get all the limited edition minis AND THOSE ARE PAINTED TOO! Fwoo, I need to calm down. I'm gonna have a heart attack.

Always a Gawdfather Never a Gawd: No longer. You will be an actual gawd. Not only will you get everything a Croach with the Moach gets, I (Andy) will create a cult dedicated to espousing the virtues of you. I'll build a shrine in my backyard, set up a you-worshipping website, and host a worship service at Con on the Cob (to which you will receive free entry until the end of time, whenever you decide that is).

Ding of the Dong: Now you're rolling with the guys who wear the big wigs. You get one of EVERYTHING ever produced by Mutha Oith Creations and/or Eastern Front Studios. This could potentially be thousands of products. I know it seems like a lot of clams, but what price can you put on ALL OF THE EVERYTHING EVER?

The Ghost of My Rich Uncle: You get everything the Ding of the Dong gets, you also get The Personal Touch and the Werm in a Balloon and you get to brag to your friends and minions about how you spent 10,000 clams on something you could have nabbed for 5500. That's just how you roll. It's about clout, not math.

Benevolent and Anonymous Hocus Poker: This is for that certain someone who just wants to fund the whole dang thing all by himself (or herself). You get everything that all of the other rewards get, including the Personal Touch, all the limited edition minis, the whole MOC and EFS catalogue, the cult, and EVERYTHING PAINTED. You also get a personalized, one-of-a-kind completely custom 300 page full-color coffee table art book that follows my career over the past 12 years (even old stuff that sucks). I'll also be your best friend and everyone will love you even more than they already do (which, I am forced to assume, is whole heck of a lot because you're awesome).