I'm making an encouraging recording for cats. I've written a script. I have what I need to record, but I need to hire a voice actor.
I'm hoping that when I finish this project I'll be able to release it on my local community access television station, youtube, and itunes so that my words of encouragement and inspiration can reach a large number of cats.
Here is the first part of an original draft that I wrote with some inspirational help from my friend Sam. At the end of this project it will be expanded and revised, but this should give you an idea of the message that we're trying to spread.
I didn't see you there. I just wanted to tell you, just wanted you to know: that today you are going to be the best kitty that you can be. You're going to be the best. You are my favorite kitty.
Today you are going to be the best hunter.
You're going to be the tiger in the grass. You will see every subtle movement. Your ears will hear every blade of grass rustle in the wind. You will hear each twig snap any time anything makes a step.
You're going to hide so well that nobody is going to be able to find you.
You will be the shadow underneath rocks. You will be the mist that creeps underneath the foundation of homes in the early morning. You will be the sensation on my neck that makes my hair stand on end.
You are graceful.
You will dissolve into the shadows. You are ready for anything. You'll be ready to leap and pounce and creep. You will jump and feint and dance after butterflies. You will have enough energy to roll and twist around on the floor. Then you will nap.
Your coat will shine.
Your whiskers will be clean because you keep them clean. You will clean every part of your body with your pink, sandpaper, tongue. You will shine when you pass through the dappled sunlight that comes through the windows or through the leaves. Everyone will see how beautiful you are and everyone will want to touch your coat. The pads on your feet will be soft.
All the right things are going to happen to you.
You're going to find just the right spot on the bed. Your litter box is going to be clean just when you need it to be. It will be ready for you just when you're ready for it. It's going to smell just the right way.
You will find a ledge with just the right amount of sun on it.
It's right next to the window. You're going to look outside and you'll see exciting things – like trees and bugs. You'll see the sun moving in the sky. Then you'll see things only you can see.
You are loved.
Your master loves you very much. When they come home they're going to have something special for you. That's because they're thinking about you every day. Imagine your favorite food. Is it fish? Is it beef? Maybe it's an egg or some icecream? Think about it. They know and they're going to bring it to you because they love you very much. You deserve it.
Your claws are going to be very sharp today.
Your teeth are going to be ready. Your muscles will be full of strength and your skin will bunch up when people touch it. Your tail will whisk back and forth when you see something that's interesting to you.
When people see you they'll want to run their hands over your coat.
You will feel like silk. People will rub your tummy. You'll purr and arch your back whenever people touch you. They're going to call you nice things. They're going to say that you're beautiful because you are beautiful. All cats are beautiful.
When it starts to get cold at night you'll hear the heater turning on and you'll run to it.
You'll find the best place to take a nap. Then you'll dream. In your dream you'll be chasing mice in the sky.
When you wake up it's going to be at night, but you will still be awake.
Everyone else will be asleep but you will move without making a sound. When you sneak by a window you'll look through it and see the moon and the stars. Maybe you'll see the lights in other houses. The world becomes your kingdom.
Your eyes will shine in the dark.
It's not that serious, but it's very sincere.
I like simple art that expresses honest ideas. I also like cats. This project is the result of those ideas intersecting.
The kitties in the video belong to my friend Maxyne Tanha (Sophie is black and Wee-nutz is white.) I put a notice up on facebook asking for cat pictures and she happens to be an amateur photographer with a great camera and her pictures really stood out.
I don't have any cats right now because I don't have enough money to take care of one properly (I'm sort of marginally employed) and my cat died last year from old age. I buried him next to a patch of mint under a lemon tree in a beautiful spot in my yard.
I'm teaming up with my local community television station (Santa Cruz Community Television.) They have a soundproof room and dubbing equipment. I've used their equipment before and I volunteer there all the time. They're a great resource.
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Pledge $1 or moreYou selected
If your cat authorizes you to donate any amount of money then I will use your cat's image in the youtube video I'm going to publish and your cat's name will go on the "Cats of Merit" list. This will be shown when I release the recording on youtube. (You have to send me the correct pronunciation of your cat's name.)Estimated delivery:
Pledge $10 or moreYou selected
If your cat urges you to donate $10 I will write your cat a letter detailing how your cat is so good, so great at hunting, and so silky-smooth that all the other kitties get jealous. You will also receive the previous tier of rewardsEstimated delivery:
Pledge $15 or moreYou selected
25 backers All gone!
If your kitty commands you to donate $15 or more I will force my voice actor to make a version of a motivational recording featuring your cat's name. (You must tell me how to pronounce it.) Then you can play it to your cat when your friends are over. You will also receive the previous tiers of rewards including the letter and credit.Estimated delivery:
Pledge $30 or moreYou selected
10 backers All gone!
Since some people have multiple cats and have been donating $30 with the idea that I would make recordings for both of them. This tier is for them! Those who donate receive the letter and previous accolades.Estimated delivery:
- (30 days)