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Update #17: The Last, Horrible Round of Shipping is Underway
GOD HELP US
Okay everyone, we are very busy packing up the last of this crap and we couldn't be more excited!
No, I'm lying.
We have had a lot of delays and problems: damaged merchandise, misprinted books, Hellephants that didn't fit in your USB ports and a host of other issues too tedious to recount.
Let's just say that we are entirely too simple-minded to undertake such a task, and you should have never trusted us with your money. We took it to Finland and drank it all.
The good news is that the BANDmade books are finished and are being shipped to us now. They look incredible!
We are hoping very hard that they will be here next week, and we will turn around and send them to you with our love and affection!
But probably not a regular printed book.
Because according to the printer, the reprinted books were delivered while we were in Finland, and were signed for by CUSTOMER WOMAN. So apparently Tarzan was here that day, and accepted the delivery for us.
I have no idea where they are and neither does the printer. But let's not dwell on the sad stories, let's just be happy that the BANDmade books are on their way. BECAUSE THAT'S ALL I HAVE RIGHT NOW
More as this develops
Update #16: Hello You Fat Bastards
Bronc and I are very busy wrapping up all your rewards and lovingly licking your envelopes (when you get your packages, make sure to lick the adhesive and it will be like we're tongue kissing).
But we have an important question:
Did any of you also buy rewards through Paypal? We're having some trouble matching up all these names because 1. there are thousands of you and 2. we're stupid.
If you did buy something here AND on Paypal, and you'd like us to ship everything together, let us know. Otherwise you'll get everything in separate packages.
Rewards will be mailed out the week of the 21st. The books will be in our hands on November 18th, and everything has to get in the mail before we leave on November 23rd. E-books will be sent to you before Thanksgiving.
Cookies will be sent directly from Pinwheel Bakery, and they are planning on sending them out around the same time. There may be a delay with the BANDmade books, because those are handmade and may take a little longer. If they aren't ready to send before we go, we will send them out as soon we come back on December 4th.
The holiday cards are all signed and ready to go. I know it's a little early, but I will probably send them this week.
Let us know about your Paypal purchases, and thanks again for all your support!
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Kegan Queen on November 21, 2011
I added an extra $5 to my order, but never got an e-book e-mail. If I don't get one, no big deal, I'll just buy one later, but I'd much rather not spend the additional money.
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april winchell on November 21, 2011
Kegan, the e-book isn't out yet. I didn't want to make it available before I started mailing out the books, because I was afraid people might post images or spoil it for the people who got hard copies. It should be out Tuesday or Wednesday, and you'll be getting an email in a few days. Make sure the email address you signed up with on Kickstarter is still accessible and that we don't wind up in your spam folder.
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Edith Kimball on November 27, 2011
I ordered a signed copy with pins, got pins and book no signature :( Otherwise very pleased (These pins are awesome-tabulous!) , but April's signature was such an exciting part of my purchase, so I'm sad to have missed that.
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Update #15: Survey Says...
Kickstarter has a program that lets you send a survey to everyone who funded your project, so you can make sure the orders are clear and the shipping information is correct.
I'm going to send out the surveys and go over your orders with you in a week or so. We'll make sure I know what you want and where I'm sending it.
I will be sending surveys out to the people who got the cookies a bit sooner, since those are coming directly from the bakery and they may need a little more lead time.
The books are going into production in about two weeks, and will be shipped in time to get the to you by Thanksgiving. I will be sending the rewards with the books, so everything will come at he same time.
I'm not sure when I'll be making the pdfs available. Obviously those will be finished before the printed version is done but I kind of want everyone to get everything around the same time. I think it will be more fun that way, and no one can be a wise ass and put the pdf on Reddit.
Any questions in the meantime, you can always email me at helen@regretsy.com, or you can leave them here and I'll check in every day.
And here's a hat made by Regretsy fan Gale, who wanted me to have something warm and offensive to wear in Helsinki.
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elizabethdawn on September 28, 2011
That hat may be the most awesome thing I have ever seen on this site. I'll bet you just can't wait to wear it!
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Gale Mead on September 28, 2011
The pattern for the letters came from here: http://littlecottonrabbits.typepad.co.uk/free_knitting_patterns/knitted_letter_charts_alphabet/
I wonder how Ms. Little Cotton Rabbits would feel about the way her font is being used. I hope she would have a sense of humor about it!I really made the hat up as I went along, but I am hoping to recruit help from other Regretsy knitters to reverse-engineer it for those who want their own version of it. The yarn is one that I stumbled upon in the tiny town of Petersburg Alaska last month. It's Bernat Mosaic, and I didn't even notice until after I bought it that it's acrylic. I fell in love with the colors, and it felt super-soft to the touch, and I was sold. I'm making a scarf out of it for a friend who's wool-intolerant.
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Update #14: Thank you, you magnificent munapää!
Thank you all for funding this crappy book of made-up stuff!
Next week, we will go into production on all the rewards, and the illustrators will begin creating the artwork for the book. It's a little daunting to produce 2,000 books and thousands of trinkets, but I'm comforted by the fact that I have no idea what I'm doing, and will screw this up royally.
I will also be sending out a survey in the next week or so, making sure I know exactly what you've ordered and where you want it to be sent. If you have paid above your reward level for extra things, I will make sure they are reserved for you before I make the extra inventory available for purchase on Regretsy.
Speaking of which, I'm making the extra inventory available for purchase on Regretsy.
It came to my attention pretty early on in this process that Kickstarter is a paskaa syövä koiranraiskaaja, and does not accept Paypal. That made it impossible for many people to participate. So I'm slapping up all the leftover rewards on the site, and they can be purchased via Paypal there. If you want even more USB sticks or pill organizers for the holidays (and who doesn't need more pill organizing around the holidays) your shopping dilemma is solved.
Thank you again for everything. I hope you enjoy the book, the artwork, the extras, and the photos and videos I'll be uploading once we get to the land of the perennially drunk and frostbitten.
You are the wind beneath my persläpi!
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Jo Uneus aka blackgermanshepherd on September 25, 2011
Congrats on going above and beyond on your funding goal! You're past the easy part...just remember to breathe once in a while.
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Jennalicious on September 25, 2011
Stop typing posts and TYPE UP OUR MADE-UP-FICTION-AS-FUCK Books!!!!
Thank you :o)
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Update #13: OKAY I LIED
I really thought I'd come up with the last Kickstarter reward the other day when I announced the Finnish Merit Badges, but it turns out I was wrong. Really, really wrong.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the absolute final Kickstarter Reward, now available to help close out our final 48 hours of funding.
THE REGRETSY™ HELLEPHANT USB STICK
Good lord, can you believe this? I surprise myself sometimes with my inability to behave like a normal person.
This is a 3-dimensional cut out Hellephant, and guess what? I FOUND HIS MISSING EAR AND THERE'S A GIG IN IT
If you don't know the Hellephant, he's one of the earliest and most loved Regretsy posts:
Yes, the hellephant is an icon of garbage; the patron saint of crap fished out of the trash and sold on Etsy. And you can have him for peanuts.
YOURS FOR A $50 PLEDGE:
A printed copy of the book
A worthless bonus item
A handwritten thank you card
A Regretsy Hellephant flash drive with 1 gig of memory...
Because a Hellephant never forgets.
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Steff on September 24, 2011
Hellephant is just too cute! I know he's going to love storing my University work.
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Jacqueline Skelton on November 29
Man, I am very disappointed. I thought I was getting a stuffed toy Hellephant with a flash drive, not a plastic Hellephant. Plastic, how can I hug plastic?
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april winchell on November 29
Jacqueline, send it back and I'll refund your money. Just make sure you erase all your tentacle porn first.
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1,886
Backers
$64,823
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Funding Successful
This project successfully raised its funding goal on September 25, 2011.
Pledge $5 or more Pledge $5 or more
An e-book version of "Regretsy's Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland" will be emailed to you in pdf format.
Pledge $6 or more Pledge $6 or more
For a $6 pledge, you'll get the official Regretsy winter holiday card, signed and personalized by Helen Killer and Bronc Drywall, mailed to the person of your choosing (domestic and international shipping included). We'll also include some bonus stickers! It's the perfect way to say, "I care about you, but not that much."
Pledge $10 or more Pledge $10 or more
An e-book version of "Regretsy's Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland" will be emailed to you in pdf format, along with a handwritten thank you note from my personal stash of Regretsy note cards.
Pledge $20 or more Pledge $20 or more
A limited edition printed version of "Regretsy's Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland," handsomely bound in unsustainable plastic. (domestic shipping only)
Pledge $25 or more Pledge $25 or more
MORE BOOKS NOW AVAILABLE! A limited edition printed version of "Regretsy's Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland," hastily bound at Kinkos by a guy who never really liked us. You will also receive a hand written thank you note on one of my personal Regretsy note cards, and a worthless bonus item (domestic shipping only)
Pledge $25 or more Pledge $25 or more
MORE BOOKS NOW AVAILABLE! A limited edition printed version of "Regretsy's Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland," hastily bound in plastic by some guy at Kinko's who secretly hates us. You will also receive a hand written thank you note on one of my personal Regretsy note cards, and a worthless bonus item (domestic shipping only)
Pledge $25 or more Pledge $25 or more
A limited edition printed version of "Regretsy's Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland," handsomely bound in unsustainable plastic. You will also receive a hand written thank you note on one of my personal Regretsy note cards, and a worthless bonus item (domestic shipping only)
Pledge $25 or more Pledge $25 or more
MORE BOOKS NOW AVAILABLE! A limited edition printed version of "Regretsy's Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland," attractively bound in plastic by some dude at Kinko's with a big Adam's Apple. You will also receive a hand written thank you note on one of my personal Regretsy note cards, and a worthless bonus item (domestic shipping only)
Pledge $25 or more Pledge $25 or more
An e-book of "Regretsy's Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland" emailed to you in pdf format, as well as a special audio bonus track, recorded and produced by me. (PLEASE NOTE: THIS REPLACES THE SAME REWARD AT THE $50 LEVEL. If you have signed up for this reward at $50 level, please cancel your pledge and select this option for $25. Sorry for the inconvenience, I'm drunk)
Pledge $30 or more Pledge $30 or more
A limited edition printed version of "Regretsy's Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland," handsomely bound in planet-hating unrecycled plastic (International shipping option)
Pledge $35 or more Pledge $35 or more
A limited edition printed version of "Regretsy's Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland," handsomely bound in eco-hostile plastic. You will also receive a hand written thank you note on one of my personal Regretsy note cards, and a worthless bonus item (international shipping option)
Pledge $35 or more Pledge $35 or more
MORE BOOKS NOW AVAILABLE TO INTERNATIONAL BACKERS! A limited edition printed version of "Regretsy's Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland," handsomely bound in eco-hostile plastic. You will also receive a hand written thank you note on one of my personal Regretsy note cards, and a worthless bonus item (international shipping option)
Pledge $40 or more Pledge $40 or more
A signed, printed version of "Regretsy's Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland", a hand written thank you note and - are you sitting down - a set of ten handmade collector pins, featuring Regretsy and CF4L artwork! This is a limited quantity reward and no more of these sets will be made available after these sell out. Pictures of the pins are posted under the UPDATES tab on this page.
Pledge $40 or more Pledge $40 or more
A limited edition printed version of "Regretsy's Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland," carelessly bound in plastic by some guy at Kinko's who thinks you're a jerk because you don't understand words like "offset." You will also receive a handwritten thank you note on your choice of Regretsy note cards or hoilday cards, and a worthless bonus item. AND - A customized Regretsy WTF weekly pill organizer, so you can keep all your Xanax and Soma from falling out onto the floor when you hit the brakes at the liquor store. (domestic shipping only - international buyers please add $5) See update #11 for more details
Pledge $40 or more Pledge $40 or more
A printed copy of the book, a worthless bonus item, a handwritten thank you note AND a custom merit badge by Robery Marbury, the Etsy artist behind the hugely popular Brooklyn Merit Badges featured on Regretsy. The design is a dazzling display of ignorance, coupled with a colorful Finnish swear word. I'm going to sew one of my coat and see how long it takes me to get into a fight in Helsinki. See a drawing of the badge under the UPDATES tab. Look for Update #12. INTERNATIONAL AND DOMESTIC SHIPPING INCLUDED
Pledge $50 or more Pledge $50 or more
Holiday pack: TWO limited edition printed versions of "Regretsy's Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland" (one for keeping, one for gift giving) attractively bound in cheap plastic at Kinko's. You will also receive TWO hand written thank you notes on Regretsy note cards, and TWO worthless bonus items! *DOMESTIC SHIPPING*
Pledge $50 or more Pledge $50 or more
An e-book of "Regretsy's Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland" emailed to you in pdf format, as well as A SPECIAL AUDIO BONUS TRACK, recorded and produced by me.
Pledge $50 or more Pledge $50 or more
All right this is it - the final reward to close out the last hours of funding: A printed copy of the book, a worthless bonus item, a handwritten thank you card - AND - A Regretsy Hellephant flash drive with 1 gig of memory... BECAUSE A HELLEPHANT NEVER FORGETS! See update #13 for a picture of the drive and SQUEEEEEE! (International and domestic shipping included!)
Pledge $60 or more Pledge $60 or more
YOU DRUNK BASTARDS! You bought out the first flasks in 90 minutes! I've just snagged another 65, so grab them while you can: a 6 oz flask with a handsome black carrying case, engraved with the Regretsy logo. Now everyone can see why you drink so much! You will also get a printed version of "Regretsy's Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland", a hand written Christmas card sent to you or anyone you desire and a worthless bonus item. DOMESTIC SHIPPING INCLUDED (international buyers please add $5)
Pledge $60 or more Pledge $60 or more
A signed, printed version of "Regretsy's Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland," a handwritten thank you note and - are you ready? A HALF DOZEN SPECIALLY CREATED REGRETSY COOKIES from the amazing Pinwheel Bakery (photos of the cookies are posted under the UPDATES tab on this page)! And if that's not enough - and it never is with you people - you get 4 Regretsy sport cups for milk. Or booze. Whatever. I'm not here to judge. SORRY, DOMESTIC SHIPPING ONLY
Pledge $60 or more Pledge $60 or more
I LIED! I just got 25 more stainless steel flasks from another supplier. The 6 oz flasks come with a handsome black carrying case, and are engraved with the Regretsy logo. You will also get a printed version of "Regretsy's Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland", a hand written Christmas card (sent to anyone you desire) and a worthless bonus item. DOMESTIC SHIPPING INCLUDED (international buyers please add $5)
Pledge $60 or more Pledge $60 or more
ATTENTION MOBILE VODKA ENTHUSIASTS: I just got my sweaty hands on 25 more stainless steel flasks! THIS IS THE LAST OF THEM. The 6 oz flasks come with a handsome black carrying case, and are engraved with the Regretsy logo (which will come in handy when you wake up in front of the computer and want to know what you were reading). You will also get a printed version of "Regretsy's Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland", a hand written Christmas card (sent to anyone you desire) and a worthless bonus item. DOMESTIC SHIPPING INCLUDED (international buyers please add $5)
Pledge $65 or more Pledge $65 or more
A printed version of "Regretsy's Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland", a hand written Christmas card sent to you or anyone you desire, a worthless bonus item and - HOT DAMN - an engraved stainless steel Regretsy flask and handsome carrying case, suitable for sneaking a few belts in at work. DOMESTIC SHIPPING INCLUDED (international buyers please add $5)
Pledge $70 or more Pledge $70 or more
Holiday pack: TWO limited edition printed versions of "Regretsy's Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland" (one for keeping, one for gift giving) attractively bound in cheap plastic at Kinko's. You will also receive TWO hand written thank you notes on Regretsy note cards, and TWO worthless bonus items! *INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING*
Pledge $125 or more Pledge $125 or more
The printed version of "Regretsy's Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland," beautifully bound in environmentally unsound plastic, a hand written thank you note and a signed copy of the Regretsy book, published by Random House (domestic shipping only)
Pledge $150 or more Pledge $150 or more
More trees die for the printed version of "Regretsy's Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland." You also get a hand written thank you note and a signed copy of the Regretsy book, published by Random House (international shipping option)
Pledge $160 or more Pledge $160 or more
For a $160 pledge, you get a signed, printed copy of the book bound in unsustainable, earth hating plastic (perfect for gift giving), a handwritten holiday card addressed to anyone of your choosing, a worthless bonus item AND.... one of 100 handmade editions by BANDmade books; maker of fine, hand bound art book on very special hand made paper. BANDmade founder Pam DeLuco will hand make the paper in this book from two very special fiber sources: a futon donated by the bass player from the band CAKE (and you can imagine what happened on that thing), and my own hideous dog caftan, memorialized on Regretsy as one of my top purchases of 2010. See the UPDATES tab for more information. DOMESTIC SHIPPING INCLUDED; INTERNATIONAL BUYERS PLEASE ADD $5
Pledge $200 or more Pledge $200 or more
We will take you to dinner when we get to Helsinki, and we will pay. Including drinks. Which is incredibly foolish on our part, but we'll just increase our limit on our credit card and worry about it in 2012.
Pledge $250 or more Pledge $250 or more
Printed version of "Regretsy's Big Book of Fabricated Folktales from Finland", a hand written thank you note, a signed copy of the Regretsy book, published by Random House AND A SLOBBERING PHONE CALL OF GRATITUDE to you or anyone you choose
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Regretsy: Where DIY Meets WTF
My dear Finlandian princesss-in-exile, with all honors to the Prince of L'homme flame, of course.
I realize that you were being abused in the netherlands with a Drill-do by the minions of P**P**, so I'm gently and subserviently following up with you about a package that now appears to have been waylaid and used for master bait by a overseas medical student living in my old apartment building in New Hampshire. I was wondering if the package ever made it back to you, and if it would be possible to (after wiping it down with disinfectant and contraceptive gel) ship it to my permanent home address as requested.
My untold blessings and freshly minted Vicodin follow you all the days of your reign.
Your humble servant.
Mark Stacy, RN
Hi Helen I don't know if this will help or not but I am the Steph Turner who was wondering about my book being sent to Canada.
Damn, I should have bought this one!