The full image is over here. Like I said, this isn't a lewd calendar; I can't be held responsible for what your eyes think they see. Nevertheless, for the record, the champagne bottle is as suggestive as it gets.

******************** UPDATES! ********************* 

                        PREDATOBER

**************** The SECRET of the UPCOMING MONSTERS ****************

...is no longer a secret! (The exclusive backer updates do include extra hints.) 

In order of appearance:

• the blob from The Blob!
• Slimer from Ghostbusters!
• King Kong!
• the alien from Alien!
• the Gill-man from The Creature from the Black Lagoon!
• Godzilla!
• the 1987 Predator!
• a gremlin from Gremlins!

****************************** A NOTE ON COLORS ******************************

Colors vary from monitor to monitor (or smartphone, or any futuristic viewing device), and from monitor to print. For instance, if you're on a Mac with a gamma of 2.2, these images might look WAY TOO SATURATED to you. Please trust that they will print sexily, in colors that won't give you a headache.

**************** END OF UPDATES ****************

I need to get these calendars into people's hands in December so they have plenty of time to hang them before the new year, or have gifts to give their weird friends and family members for the holidays, or have a chance to enjoy something strange and beautiful before the world ends. BUT I still have eight and a half illustrations to make (plus three calendar layouts and a sexy font), and my day job eats up a lot of my time and ravages my drawing arm. So, the money I'd raise through Kickstarter would allow me to (a) take a few days off work to make these monsters as sexy as they can be; (b) print them on thick, juicy, 110 lb. (or thicker if I can manage it) glossy paper; and (c) get them to sexy monster fans safely and in a timely fashion.

This isn't your flimsy, stapled, square, disposable calendar. These are large, thick, glossy, sexily rectangular, collectible prints that are generous enough to help you figure out what day it is. Also, your pledge includes the costs of packaging and shipping your items securely (in the US), which is time-consuming and expensive with big, flat packages.

Most of the 11" x 17" digital prints I've come across cost around $15 each AND charge you for shipping, and they don't even have any sexy monsters in them. Mine come out to about $4.60, including shipping (in the US), when you buy all twelve. AND you get a bulldog clip! So, while $50-70 sounds like a lot for a calendar, it's a friggin' steal for a set of sexy art prints. A monstrous value, you could say. 

So glad you asked!!

First, let me just say that every single one of you will get my most sincere and undying gratitude, as well as the immediate realization that you are so, so sexy. Also, everyone will receive the backer updates, which will include the SECRET of which monster I'll be drawing for which month (only five people know this, including me! Five people out of seven billion!). The updates will also have some process photos and, if we're lucky, maybe some photos of me and my friends packing up your goodies with a couple bunnies lurking in the background. Also, I'll email everyone a sexy monster valentine on Valentine's Day.

The following image shows rough layouts (I still need to design the calendars and make a special font) and size comparisons for the different products. The calendar section of each month will be color-coordinated to look sexy next to its monster; and, for further sexiness, instead of numbers in boxes, there'll just be naked numbers (ooh!).

12  4" x 6" postcards for mailing, hoarding, or displaying as a set.

12  11" x 8.5" prints of monsters and months, attached with a bulldog clip. You can keep them all clipped together and hang 'em on a nail, or pin 'em up separately and surround yourself with a year's worth of monstrous sexiness! Large enough to make the entire room sexy, small enough to fit anywhere! 

12  8.5" x 17" prints of monsters and months, plus the bulldog clip! Twice as sexy as the short calendar. 

12  11" x 17" prints of JUST THE MONSTERS for people who hate calendars. Also comes with a bulldog clip, in case you want to secretly participate in the rotation of the months.

12  11" x 17" prints of the monsters with 11" x 5" calendars attached with removable tape (for a total size of 11" x 22"). When the month is over, you can tear off the calendar and go on enjoying your monster without living in the past!  And of course you get the coveted bulldog clip.

Here's where things start to get really sexy. I'll write whatever your juicy red heart desires on up to 12 dates! (If you want me to block out several days with one event, like "Werewolf Appreciation Week", that will only count as one date.) It'll look a little something like this (again, I haven't designed the calendar yet, so this will look different):

Ever wanted a day named after you? Now's your chance! WHATEVER YOU WANT! Bear in mind, though, that the less it says, the better it'll look.

For some people, twelve sexy monsters just isn't enough. If you're one of those people, I will make sexy ANY MONSTER YOU WANT! Any monster at all! But I'm gonna do it the way I want. It'll be a full-color illustration just like the others, printed on the same deliciously thick and glossy 11" x 17" paper, only this one will be ALL YOURS! NO ONE ELSE WILL HAVE ONE! 

Do you want your very own monster, but don't necessarily need it with all that sexy color? Weh-heh-hell, for you I have...

ANY monster you want, made sexy in an ORIGINAL 8" x 12" black and white inked drawing on smooth, delicious bristol board. Original, I said! NO ONE ELSE WILL HAVE ONE! And let's be clear: this is a legitimate drawing made of time and love and research, not a quick sketch. It's gonna be sexy.

For some people, it's not enough just to look at a sexy monster—they want to participate. For you, you lover of monsters you, I will make you your very own illustration featuring YOUR VERY OWN SELF and ANY MONSTER YOU WANT! And you'll both look sexy! It'll be a full-color illustration just like the others, printed on the same deliciously thick and glossy paper, only this one will be 14" x 17" and ALL YOURS! NO ONE ELSE WILL HAVE ONE! One in seven billion! And, if you want, no one else will ever even see it—I won't put it up on my website without your permission. I do have to say, even though this isn't affiliated with what I like to think is a family calendar, I'd really rather not draw anything very pornographic. If you want to commission me to illustrate your horrible fetishes, we'll have to have that talk some other time.

First, I'll bounce in my chair and shriek like a silly baby.

If the goal is exceeded by a little, I'll either be able to spend a little more time on the monsters and the design of the calendars, or get them out a little sooner. If it's exceeded by a bunch, I'll make a bunch of different valentines and send them to you in the real mail. If it's exceeded by a whole bunch, I'll ask you all to vote for the monster you'd like to see lookin' sexy, and the winner will become a bad-ass bonus illustration! If the goal is exceeded by a whole hell of a lot, I'll just have to think of something really fantastic. Feel free to leave suggestions in the comments!

It also depends on the sorts of pledges I get: if it's mostly basic calendar orders, most of that money will have to go to printing and packing and shipping those calendars. If there are a lot of small pledges, or extra dollars tacked onto the basic calendar pledges, or if a lot of people go for the fancy rewards, then I'll have some extra bucks to turn into some awesome bonus stuff.

Shipping is included in the pledges for US backers; international backers will need to add $5-10. All the calendars and postcards will be shipped flat (so they'll hang flat on the wall) in plastic, with a bunch of cardboard to protect them from bending and bumping. Single prints will ship in sturdy tubes.

Just when I thought you couldn't get any sexier. All you do is add the appropriate amount to your pledge based on the list below. After (if) the project is funded, I'll be sending out a survey to collect information—this is when you can tell me what you're ordering and where you want it sent.

* SINGLE PRINT: add $8 (international: $8) if it's going to the same place. If you'd like me to ship it somewhere else with a gift message, add $12 (international: $17).  *** If you're adding a single print to a POSTCARD, SHORT CALENDAR, or TALL CALENDAR pledge, I have to ask you to add $12 (international: $17) whether it's going to the same place or not, because I'll have to ship the print separately in a tube. 

* POSTCARD SET: add $8 (international: $8) if it's going to the same place. If you'd like me to ship it somewhere else with a gift message, add $12 (international: $17).

* SHORT CALENDAR: add $18 (international: $18) if it's going to the same place. If you'd like me to ship it somewhere else with a gift message, add $25 (international: $30). 

* TALL CALENDAR: add $40 (international: $45) if it's going to the same place. If you'd like me to ship it somewhere else with a gift message, add $50 (international: $60). 

* CALENDAR-LESS CALENDAR: add $45 (international: $50) if it's going to the same place. If you'd like me to ship it somewhere else with a gift message, add $55 (international: $65).   

* COLLECTOR'S CALENDAR: add $60 (international: $65) if it's going to the same place. If you'd like me to ship it somewhere else with a gift message, add $70 (international: $80).   

* CUSTOMIZED (single day) TALL CALENDAR: add $45 (international: $50) if it's going to the same place. If you'd like me to ship it somewhere else with a gift message, add $55 (international: $65).  

* CUSTOMIZED (single day) COLLECTOR'S CALENDAR: add $65 (international: $70) if it's going to the same place. If you'd like me to ship it somewhere else with a gift message, add $75 (international: $85). 

* CUSTOMIZED WALL CALENDAR: add $55 (international: $60) if it's going to the same place. If you'd like me to ship it somewhere else with a gift message, add $65 (international: $75).  

* CUSTOMIZED COLLECTOR'S CALENDAR: add $75 (international: $80) if it's going to the same place. If you'd like me to ship it somewhere else with a gift message, add $85 (international: $95). 

No problem! Just click "Manage Your Pledge" up at the top, change your pledge amount, and select your new reward.

Most likely, I'll get the calendar done (either by skipping work and eating shoelaces for dinner and making horrible drawings, or by going to work and skipping sleep and making horrible drawings), but it'll probably be too late for people to give away for the holidays; they will have already bought a classless $14 sexy bachelor or bachelorette calendar for themselves, and I'll have to save it 'til next year, when the sale of sexy monster calendars might very well be outlawed for all we know. No one will feel special for having been a part of this weird thing that few people understand but that is understood so deeply by those few. The world may never know the sexiness that hides in weird, monstrous places.

Well, I think that's about it for now. I'm gonna get back to work on those monsters, which I'll post as I finish them, and I'll send you guys updates as things progress. 

If you have any questions, leave 'em in the comments, or contact me through that "contact me" link up at the top. If you want to keep up with me outside of Kickstarter, go to erikadudes.tumblr.com.

THANK YOU SO MUCH for your support, and, please, share this link with everyone you know who likes monsters, movies, sexiness, weird art, surprises, calendars, or a good laugh. Share it with people who hate all those things. Share it with people who don't think they're sexy. Share it with people just to show them how sexy YOU must be to promote something so sexy. Or just buy a bunch of calendars and hang them all over these people's houses when they're not home. I leave it up to you. But spread the word, and I promise you'll not only be sexier for it, you'll also get some really cool shit.