An edgy exploitation comedy harking back to the early films of John Waters, THE PROMISE KEEPERS is daring, satirical, and beyond over-the-top.
Hello internettes, I'm Riley Michael Parker, and with the help of my writing partner, the very talented Carolyn Main, I am getting ready to shoot my first full-length feature. The film is called THE PROMISE KEEPERS, and it is a satirical exploitation comedy similar to the early films of the infamous John Waters (think PINK FLAMINGOS, FEMALE TROUBLE, and DESPERATE LIVING). The plot centers around a polygamist family that operates on its own code of ethics, and our cameras follow these people as they kidnap, slash, and dance their way through 85 minutes of the most shocking and jaw-dropping scenes you are likely to see in a narrative film.
The script for THE PROMISE KEEPERS was written in early winter 2009, and pre-production began right away - making props, planning wardrobe, and even the construction of original set pieces. Carolyn and I passed the script around our circle of friends to gather interest, and a shoe-string budget was put together fairly quickly, but sadly we are just about out of shoes and we need your help to bring THE PROMISE KEEPERS to life. Our goal is $5000 dollars, which will cover all currently projected production and post production costs, with just a little bit of wiggle room for unforeseen issues. This is bare-bones production, however, and if we are able to raise more than our current goal, all of the additional money will be used to its fullest potential - first during production (giving us the option of a longer shooting schedule and allowing us to produce more elaborate versions of our currently planned special effects), and then in the marketing and distribution of the film, plus travel costs and entrance fees to festivals. We are very budget-conscious - making most of our own props and cutting corners wherever possible without hurting the integrity of the picture - and we will stretch every dollar we bring in as far as we possibly can, making sure you get the most bang for your buck.
"That all sounds well and good," you say, "but why exactly should I contribute to this film?" Well, aside from how ridiculously awesome all of it is, one reason is that we have a lot to offer you in return. Individuals who donate $25 or more will receive a PROMISE KEEPERS poster signed by members of the cast and crew, a contribution of $150 will get you an original prop from the film, and all of our donors will recieve special updates and access to behind the scenes materials. And the prizes just keep getting better the more you donate. For example, the first person to donate $5000* (hey, it could happen) will get The Ultimate Riley Michael Parker Portland Experience (look to the right of the screen for more details), which may sound too good to be true, but I assure you that it isn't. All of this on top of the fact that by donating to THE PROMISE KEEPERS you will be contributing to the first entry in a unique niche of exploitation cinema that has been all-but-dead since John Waters went PG and made HAIRSPRAY (god love him, it makes sense, but still, I'd rather watch his early ones). Nobody makes movies like THE PROMISE KEEPERS anymore. Troma makes a lot of over-the-top exploitation, but with their tongue firmly in their cheeks and almost no attention to character development - and Eli Roth and a few others have made some pretty good horror films in the last five years, but they focus on gore and tits while setting comedy and characters aside. We are doing something that isn't being done anymore, and we gaurantee you that you will see things in our film that you never thought you'd see, hear things you never thought you'd hear, and, most of all, be entertained to the f*cking hilt. I mean it. Like, no foolies, for suresies, to the f*cking hilt.
Thank you in advance for your donation!
-Riley Michael Parker-
Oh, and by the way... For those of you not familiar with how Kickstarter works, it is an all or nothing deal. When you donate you are actually making a pledge, and then nothing happens with the money until the closing date on our fundraiser. If we meet, or even go beyond our current goal, we get to keep all the money we raised, but if we don't meet our goal then you keep your pledged amount and no money exchanges hands. The more people who donate, the more likely it is that we will meet our goal, so please, spread the word about THE PROMISE KEEPERS!
*If a second (or even third) person were to donate $5000, you would not get TURMPPE, but we would do something pretty great for you, because that would be awesome of you to donate that much, and we would love you, and we would do something like totally wicked awesome to show you just how great you really are! However, after the first three people to donate $5000, if anyone contributes that much money (or more), they will get a "thank you" card and NOTHING ELSE. I am serious. It doesn't make sense, I know, but it's something I came up with right now and I plan to enforce it. I know how silly it is - I really, really do. Leave me alone about it. What's done is done.
Have a question? If the info above doesn't help, you can ask the project creator directly.
seconds to go
Pledge $10 or moreYou selected
UPDATES AND GRATITUDE! Get updates and behind-the-scenes material from the film, plus a "special thanks" in the credits!
Pledge $25 or moreYou selected
SIGNED POSTER! Get a PROMISE KEEPER poster signed by cast and crew! Plus updates and "special thanks"!
Pledge $35 or moreYou selected
ORIGINAL SKETCHES! Get a page of fanciful ink drawings from Carolyn Main's sketchbook! Signed by Carol! Plus everything above!
Pledge $50 or moreYou selected
PK ZINE! Get a copy of a limited run PROMISE KEEPERS zine, featuring original concept art, anecdotes, and black and white photographs from the production of the film! Plus everything above!
Pledge $75 or moreYou selected
PORTRAIT(ISH)! Send us a picture of yourself and Carolyn will draw a caricature of you to put on your Facebook page! Plus everything above!
Pledge $100 or moreYou selected
THE SCRIPT AND A KISS! Get a signed copy of the script, sealed with a kiss from one of our lovely cast members! And everything above! Can you believe it? It's true!
Pledge $150 or moreYou selected
ORIGINAL ART! Get an original piece of art or an original prop from the film! Plus all the great stuff listed above!
Pledge $200 or moreYou selected
SET DESIGN! Become a part of our set! Send us a picture of yourself and we'll make a missing person flier with your face on it to be hung in one of several possible locations throughout the film! No promises, but it might just end up in the feature! And, as I'm sure you've figured out, you also get all that other stuff listed above!
Pledge $500 or moreYou selected
0 backers Limited (3 left of 3)
MORE ART AND A CAMEO APPEARANCE (SORT OF)! Have your face in our film! The first three people to donate $500 will have the missing person flier we make for them specifically featured on screen! That's a promise, and you know we keep 'em! And, as if that weren't enough, Carolyn and I will do a special four-panel comic just for you! You pick the topic, I write the joke, she draws it up, and we all have a laugh! Plus all that stuff above as well!
Pledge $1,000 or moreYou selected
1 backer Limited (4 left of 5)
VIP TREATMENT! The first 5 people to donate $1000 dollars or more will get to have dinner and drinks with members of the cast and crew on the night of our Portland premier screening, as well as VIP seating during the feature and an invitation to the afterparty! (You will of course be responsible for any travel and/or lodging expenses during your trip). Plus you get a producer credit! And you get everything listed above (minus the cameo)! Can it get any better? Yeah! It can! Look below!
Pledge $5,000 or moreYou selected
0 backers Limited (1 left of 1)
THE ULTIMATE RILEY MICHAEL PARKER PORTLAND EXPERIENCE! This sounds ridiculous, but I am 100% serious! The first person to donate $5000 dollars will get The Ultimate Riley Michael Parker Portland Experience! Beginning up to two days before the premier screening of THE PROMISE KEEPERS, I will take you to my favorite stores, restaurants, bars, and coffee shops! I will take you to my favorite theaters so we can watch movies that I didn't make! I will present you with an original painting I will have made JUST FOR YOU! I will not kiss your mouth or do anything even remotely sexual, but I will high-five you as much as you want, and I am typically not even a high-fiver! You can tour the movie set! I will make you tasty sandwiches! I will tell you stupid jokes! Carolyn will drop by to bother us! I will take pictures of/with you, and even write haiku about how awesome you are! I repeat, NO KISSING! You may want to kiss me, as I am very attractive, but I must insist! I will, however, give you copies of the books I have written, and personal copies of my favorite books that other people wrote years and years ago, and we can even film some impromptu stuff around the city! Plus all that dinner and drinks and fancy seating that the $1000 people get, and an invitation to the super-exclusive afterafterparty (if there is one)! I will meet you at the airport! I will drop you off at the airport (using public transit because I don't drive)! I will call and talk to your friends and family members and tell them how cool you are! Also, you can bring one good friend along for all of this! Seriously! All of this is true! I mean it! Seriously! Like, for realsies! (You will of course be responsible for any travel and/or lodging expenses during your trip, including food, with the one exception of the fancy-cast-and-crew-dinner-and-drinks-pre-premier-extravaganza). Plus you get all that other sh*t! Awesome (all except the cameo, but that's still pretty awesome!)!
- (31 days)