Kickstarter

Creator Grant Sanders on November 14, 2012

The broadsides arrived on our tiny island late in the day. I was so excited, I had to open the envelope and show the mailhuman (who is an old friend). My daughter and I pulled on our coats and posted them around town in the fading afternoon light. It was a strangely moving experience. I will send the documenting evidence as soon as I stop vibrating. G.

Creator Lindsay Windham on November 14, 2012

I had to run out to a doctor's appointment this morning, so the wall of a mansion across the street from my humble home became an impromptu mini gallery: http://oliveargyle.com/post/35705702761/art-cryinpublic-at-charleston-sc

Creator Otto on November 13, 2012

Dear SLC girl,
What is the best method for posting these broadsides? To buildings or metal poles -- tape, wheatpaste, gum, crazy glue? To telephone poles or trees -- staples, string, nails, Velcro? We don't want to damage property or kill trees but we also desire semi-permanence to ensure that your efforts have maximum impact and reach. This is my first time engaging in such an activity and i want to be sure to do it right without risking arrest or paying fines, which would surely make me cry in public!
Thank you for this tear-inducing project!

Creator Julia Murphy on November 12, 2012

Laura - my heart is so touched. I'll email you this afternoon. A ginormous hug to your boss as well. It's a real gift to see kindness moving forward. Shout out from Heidelberg.

Creator laura besterfeldt on November 11, 2012

Julia,
I mentioned you to the owner of Tin Angel today and told her your request. She said that we can do a three course dinner for $33 for your family or anyone that is part of this project..... she loves it! When you call just ask for Robin or Laura (me)....one of us is usually there. If not just let the person know that I told you it was ok. to get a gift certificate that says 3 course dinner for 2 people and the charge should be $66 (or however many people at $33 a person) It's a small restaurant everyone will be helpful. You can also make this happen by sending an email to thetinangel@gmail.com or emailing me personally @ laurabesterfeldt@me.com & we can work the info & transaction out that way. My best friend lives in Germany....& well I am familiar with the time difference & calling. Feel free to email me with any questions. Thanks for being apart of this awesome exhibit!
Laura

Creator Ann Coddington Rast on November 10, 2012

Hey there - I was trying to find the list that people (including myself) have submitted for acceptable reasons to cry in public - where can I find??
thanks! Ann Coddington

Creator laura besterfeldt on November 10, 2012

Julia,
thanks! you r very sweet and does Salt Lake has many patches of greatness.....the girl in slc & tin angel r only 2 of them :D. The 3 course dinner for $30 was only offered that week...it was dine-o-round...a promotional thing that many restaurants participate in around the city. But you can call the tin angel at 801.328.4155 and get a gift certificate. We can mail it to your daughter & son-in-law for you. They can have a 3 course dinner. You can look at the menu online for prices or a three course dinner is about $40 a person. I will make sure they have an exceptional time!
I got my posters yesterday....they are awesome! I look forward to posting them too! Please post photos of your instillation....I am looking forward to seeing everyones!

Creator Mar Romero on November 6, 2012

I have a question about the procedure. I am now in Boston, but on November 17 I'm leaving to Barcelona. Are we supposed to post the posters on November 14 no matter what? Should I send you my Boston address or my Barcelona address?

Creator Julia Murphy on November 6, 2012

Laura, I have a daughter and son-in-law who live in the area of your cafe (or as I like to call it "your slice of goodness"). I'd love to send them a gift certificate for dinner for two, three course dinner. Please let me know how this can happen (the Tin Angel Cafe website doesn't yet have that feature). For sure I will remind them to ask for a table in your section, "It'll be worth the wait."

Also, I live in Heidelberg Germany and I can't wait to put these posters up! Julia

Creator Cheri on October 22, 2012

I am a chronic crier. I'll admit that first. I think I've always been this way too, I'll cry at movies, at songs, at the old man sitting on the park bench alone, at the Dad teaching his kid how to ride a bike, at Laura Besterfeldt's story below. My heartstrings are delicate I suppose. Or maybe it's that those little moments in public spaces that we share with each other (even when we're just witnessing) are just that, they're SHARED. And what we share with each other is so much bigger than us as individuals, so full of wonder and awe that I just can't help but to cry. We are not alone in this world, so why cry alone?

Creator Grace Bartolotta on October 21, 2012

At a funeral for your Mom, where your just so sad you don't care who is watching.
Right now its just been about my mom, so ANYWHERE is acceptable.

Creator laura besterfeldt on October 21, 2012

Thursday nite(October 12, 2012) @ the Tin Angel Cafe:

I work at the Tin Angel Cafe. I am a manager & also act as a server. We have a lot of "regulars" that are irregular. One is Curt. Curt: lives in Alabama but comes to Utah once every four months for work & always eats there while in town. He came in tonight. We were offering a 3 course dinner for $30. The options were: 1. Tapa of choice. 2. Scallops seared over orzo pilaf with baby veggies & finished with a black truffle & champagne buerre blanc or Wagu steak with an heirloom tomato porchini couli & steamed baby veggies 3. dessert of choice. He choose this…. 1: Moroccan spiced grilled shrimp 2: Scallops 3: flourless chocolate torte. When I asked how his scallops were he replied with "Thank you. I love coming to SLC because of the Tin Angel. " & in a southern accent…."Wouldn't it be cool if I was rich enough to buy everyone this dinner once….nobody needs this everyday…but EVERYONE should get it once." "Yes, that would be great idealistically but, there are a lot of assholes in this world…..and well…not everyone appreciates things like you do." says me. He replies, " I don't care, everyone should experience this once." "Yes, you are probably right."-me.
There is live music performed at the Tin Angel, this night it was David Williams. He had a friend come to see him and she sat at a table on the patio, next to Curt's, alone. She ordered the three course dinner & then sat there watching him & taking photos.
I am inside loading my hands up with food to deliver to a table when I see an African man (not an African American….a man darker than my soul) walk onto the patio. As much as I hate to admit it, I immediately felt like I might have "a situation" at hand. But he walks over to the musician's friend & sits down at her table. I am relieved. As I walk outside with hands full of plates of food I realize that she doesn't know him. So I walk over & ask him to wait by the front door. He says " My name is Amin Amin, I come from Africa. Do you speak French?" I say no. I nod my head in the direction of the front door and say "wait for me there." I deliver the food to the appropriate table and come back to him. He is now talking to the musician. I but in. "Do you have a reservation?", I ask. He says, "I love the Reggae, but the music is good, how much to come in?" I reply, "dinner". He says, "I have no money." And then there are people walking up to the front door that I must seat for dinner. I grab his arm & bring him with me. I ask him to wait and seat the new table that has arrived. As I am walking back to him, Curt calls me over. He tells me that he wants to buy this man the 3 course dinner. I asks if he is sure. He says yes. I ask if I check out the situation and the man is ok if he wants me to tell him dinner came from him. He says, " after I leave." I walk over to Amin and after a short very broken conversation due to the language barrier I don't feel he is harmful so I sit him at the only table I have open in my section (it was a 6 top, but I didn't care. I could not put this on anyone else that was working that night. I had to make sure it was gonna go ok.) I ask him if he can read. He says no. I ask him meat or fish….he says "meat, I have no money". I say "stay, I am ordering for you". I have no clue if anything I have said he understood.
I bring him moroccan spiced shrimp and a glass of water. He says, "I have no money". I gesture my hand towards the shrimp and then towards my mouth and tell him "eat! it's ok". He says "thank you". He brings his empty plate to me when he is done. I walk him back to his table and tell him to stay. I notice at this point that he cannot see well. Perhaps this is why his eyes are bugging out.
A married couple who come in often arrive at the door. I greet them and they introduce me to their mom, who is visiting from Ohio. I ask them if they would like to sit inside or out. They say they want to sit in my section wherever it is. I let them know that I am "dealing with some stuff and they can sit in my section but I won't be able to get their order started for about 10 minutes,(I have 3 tables other than curt & Amin) or they can sit in anyone else's section and I will come over and talk to them in a little while. They say they want to sit in my section and wait. Ok (not without personal reservations) I seat them in my only, now, open table.
I deliver Curt"s chocolate torte, Amin's Steak, another table's food, and check on my other table & the rest of the restaurant to make sure everyone is happy and has water and such. During this I get questioned by the musician if he can help cuz the African is drunk and by a fellow employee who says "Robin (one of the owners) is going to get really mad if he shows up wanting free food in the future." I let them know that I was the manager and that if anything bad happened it would be my fault. We were busy and everyone needed to just mind their own business but their concerns were valid & I was questioning myself. Then I go to the couple & their mom. I tell them the specials of the night and then the story of what is going on and why they had to wait. The mom says " I speak french!". I ask her if she could tell Amin, before he leaves, that another customer bought his dinner out of random kindness and that dinner is not usually free at the Tin Angel. She lets me know that she doesn't get the opportunity to speak French often and she would love to. As I am taking their dinner orders Amin brings me his empty steak plate…..I say" this might be a great time to tell him." The mom stands, says her name and greets him in French. He responds fluidly and with grace. They begin a banter of conversation. I have a lot of other things to do so I walk off. I check on them from time to time but the mom & Amin are in conversation still and both the man & woman are on the phone.
When I bring them their main courses, Amin turns to me and says thank you, and then to them and says the same. He walks toward the direction of his table. I want to know what's going on. Amin arrived in Salt Lake City 9 days ago via Sudan to Egypt to NYC then….SLC(alone. no friends, no family) He is a refugee without asylum. He is "legally" blind. People at the shelter are not nice to refugees and stole all his money. He has not encountered anyone who spoke French or German since he has been in Utah until the Tin Angel. He had not eaten in….well "more than a minute." The couple were on their phones cuz they were calling people to find out the Sudan refugee resource center in SLC. They gave him the info he needed to get a hold of it the next day. I cried……out of how awesome people can be sometimes….. i cried also because it is so easy to quickly judge…..i cried also because things like this CAN happen…& well…the Tin Angel is awesome cuz it CAN happen there. I love my workplace & freedom. I cried because I was glad Amin had a great dinner & people were kind to him. Curt had left before all this happened. I called him the next day from the phone # left with his reservation….I am not sure, but it sounded like he was crying when he told me thank you for calling and letting me know what happened.

Creator Justine on October 21, 2012

A sad/beautiful book will drive me to tears. Crying in public embarrasses me because I'm a messy crier -- red faced, lots of snuffling noises. I recently read "Your Voice in My Head" on a train -- bad idea. I read "Cry, the Beloved Country" outside my college dorm -- had to run inside. I generally try to hold it in at first (control breathing, widen eyes, sniffing quickly), but eventually crumple under the book's pressure. Movies, too -- but that's less embarrassing since you have the cover of a dark movie theater and loud noises.

Creator Kimberly Christensen on October 18, 2012

Encounters with those in need. Most often, those suffering from homelessness and the effects of age, psychological challenges, or being dealt one of life's lousy hands. Now, I will admit that, if there were a club for bleeding hearts, I would be a card-carrying member and I am inclined to give whatever I have on hand at the slightest provocation. But it always ends---after I've rounded a corner, of course---in tears. And lots of them. Tears of sadness, guilt, and gratitude.

Creator Judy Holy on October 18, 2012

I cry easily and often. When I saw this project I just had to be a part of it. Crying in public, why not? The worst is not having any tissue or long sleeves. I had an excellent cry in a Max Strom yoga class. I continued to do the asanas without trying to control my crying. At the end of class I cryed through the corpse pose. I dried up during the closing oms and decided to thank Max Strom for the excellent class. I waited a few minutes for the students around him to disperse. I felt composed and ready. I approached him, looked him in the eyes, and immediately commenced crying. I squeeked out "thank you". He nodded, smiled broadly, enveloped my hand between his large warm hands, and said "thank you" back.

Creator Suzan Bond on October 18, 2012

After 15 years of living in big cities I've cried on many big city streets. There's something so public and yet so anonymous about crying on in a very public place like this. Although many people will see you cry they'll be gone from your life forever in just a few moments. So go ahead, cry away--the shame and embarrassment of a public cry will only last a few seconds. The relief of getting it out will last much longer.

Below is an essay I wrote about crying in public.

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Tears run down my face like a river whose banks have crested, unable to contain all the water flowing through it. I don't care that I am sitting in the back of a public place. I am sitting in the back of the Fourth Presbyterian Church on Michigan Avenue in downtown Chicago. With soaring ceilings, intricate woodwork, marble floors and antique stained glass windows depicting Christ's birth, the church is one of the most beautiful in the city. Just outside its ornate doors is the Miracle Mile where thousands of tourists are feverishly shopping at expensive boutiques, looking out over the skyline at Hancock Tower and sipping expensive, decadent "I'm on vacation" drinks at Starbucks. Inside I sit in a pew near the back of the church. The 10:30 service has just ended and people are filing out of the building ready to get to brunches with family or perhaps gardening on this sunny Sunday in July. I came to the church from my apartment by bus so I do not have a private place to go. Sitting here is about as private as it's going to get. So I stay. I hunch over trying to conceal the outpouring of salty tears with my long hair. It works, for a few minutes. Then I see a pristine, carefully folded white handkerchief appear under my hair.
“Ma’am? Are you ok?" He hands me the handkerchief and sits down on the pew next to me.
"I'm.....ok." I say looking up at him through teary eyes.
The man looks at me with a kind but doubtful face. "Would you like to talk to someone?"
Seeing his name tag and programs in hand, I realize that he is an usher and that his job is to keep people moving and ensure that the riff raff don’t take up camp in their beautiful sanctuary. This means that I should probably talk with someone otherwise they might kick me out of the church and out onto the busy sidewalks with the careless tourists who will knock into with their overflowing shopping bags.
"Ok."
"Come with me. Let's go to a place that's a bit more private." says the usher as he takes me to the chapel at the front of the church.
"Wait one minute while I get someone." he says kindly before briefly touching my shoulder in a gesture of solidarity before leaving.
As I sit waiting I try to take in the beautiful room in which I'm now sitting. It's very small and round with just a few ornate wood benches. In the corner sits a statue of Jesus. Since this is a Presbyterian church it is the gentler version of this religious icon, unlike the ones at Catholic Churches which typically feature him pinned grotesquely to the cross. This images has always creeped me out but today I'm not thinking about how Jesus or anyone looks. I simply blow my nose into the now crumpled handkerchief, grateful for a proper place to cry. I'm comfortable not because it's a church where I have always felt at home after growing up in them but simply because I am out of my apartment that I share with my estranged husband.

Creator Amee Spondike on October 18, 2012

Vinyasa yoga classes are a great place to cry publicly. First, if you are doing it correctly you aren't looking around at the other students, so no one will notice if you are shaking - and hey, maybe you are shaking because this particular asana is really hard. If it's a heated studio, you are likely to be sweating so much that tears won't be noticeable and your mascara will be a mess anyway. Spinning and Pilates classes haven't been as successful for public athletic crying. Running just makes me want to cry in general.

Creator Dan Kez on October 18, 2012

Definitely in our undergrad lounge after bombing an exam. Seen it happen, and have done it myself. We even have a nice "stress relief kit" in the corner see image: http://blog.collingwood-bluemountain.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/stress-picture-stress-relief-kit.jpg . I think my peers would enjoy the essay.