Hey everybody! Over the weekend, we were featured in a an
article on Crave online: “Funding the Fun Makers: Hipster Holocaust”. We were
also asked to give an interview but due to the short deadline for the article
the interview portion was unable to be published… But worry not! We’re
publishing the article anyway!
So check it out, here’s the interview with Jon
D.A., one of the co-writers of HIPSTER HOLOCAUST.
CRAVE ONLINE: How Many hipsters can we
count on dying?
Jon D.A.: Great
question! This was a serious issue of contention between myself and Ian (or as
I like to refer to him as… “the other dude who wrote the project with me,” by
which I mean the guy I have to share a credit with, because he says if I don’t
give him credit he’ll “find me” and “then burn my life like a cane field in a
high wind” which I guess I should point out is a quote from the film SECRET
WINDOW which is Ian’s favorite film… not mine, I find it a tad too preachy, but
for Ian it is literally [or is it figuratively? I can never remember!] his
the answer to your question is the number of letters in the previous sentence
divided by the number of skinny jeans currently in my closet .
CRAVE ONLINE: Can we expect to see some really ‘hip’ deaths? like
Hipsters bludgeoned with their own Crocs, or choking on PBR?
Jon D.A.: You can
expect a lot of things. Most of them of funny. Many of them bloody. But if
you’re expecting a farting dragon that transforms into a jive talking
African-American Hummer, then you have the wrong fucking movie… Or the right
one. We need your money, so if that’s what you want, then fuck it: these robots
fart up a storm and are constantly free-styling hip urban
rhymes… just give us some cash… please.
seriously folkz, if you want a lot of creative kills and clever one liners,
then HIPSTER HOLOCAUST is probably going to be the film for you. And if that
doesn’t appeal to you… then I’m sorry for bothering you and I promise never to
come back to this Sbarro’s, again.
CRAVE ONLINE: Without completely giving it away, what’s the most gory
and or creative hipster death?
Jon D.A.: Oh man,
we’ve got this one kill… we take this [REDACTED] and then shove a [REDACTED] up
a [REDACTED] and fill it to the top with old fashioned [REDACTED] and then
laugh while the [REDACTED] totally— OH GOD, I’VE SAID TOO MUCH.
above was a lie, but only part of it. This next part is a truth: Let’s just say
that the human face is no match for the gears of a bicycle.
CRAVE ONLINE: Are there any actors attached to this
project yet? Or Actors you’d like to get?
Jon D.A.: Our first choice for the starring role, Brad Pitt,
passed on the project. I believe the words he used, when we met with him on top
of his giant pile of money, were “this project is too awesome for me to star
in, I would only ruin it.”
We’re currently in talks in with Joseph Stalin, Pol
Pot and Paul Giamatti.
CRAVE ONLINE: In the recent Canadian Riot, the most
iconic image was of a young couple making out int he street while the world
exploded behind them. Is there room for love in Hipster Holocaust?
Jon D.A.: Those Canadians sure do love to riot, eh? If it isn’t
the skyrocketing price of poutine it’s the ever increasing quality of their
free healthcare. I sure do pity them. But to answer your question:
Yes, there is room for love in HIPSTER HOLOCAUST. But
only if you’re down to party with a 26/M/CA and looking for erotic plushie
action in the back of my dad’s Ford Taurus station wagon. BYO tear-free shampoo
CRAVE ONLINE: Someone once said, ‘only Hipsters care
about Hipsters’ Does that mean hipsters are going to love this movie?
Jon D.A.: Who said that? WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT? Was it Jeff?
That motherfucker. Tell him that he’s out. TELL HIM HE’S FUCKING OUT OF THE
MOVIE, I’LL JUST DO THE NUDE SCENE MYSELF. … Fine. Fuck it. Tell him he’s back
in. Tell Jeff he’s back in the movie, but not because I forgive him (I don’t)
but because I’m such a nice fucking guy. Also, tell him: “I love you, I’m
sorry, let’s never fight again. You have such beautiful eyes.”
Don’t worry. HIPSTER HOLOCAUST is a fun, violent
little comedy grindhouse trailer that has a lot less hate than it does love for
hip young people who happen to be into obscure bands and tight pants. It’s
going to be fast and intense and something you can share with all of your
We kill because we love.
Best, Jon D.A
P.S. Please donate to our Kickstarter, we need every
penny to help fund our film!