Unpublished interview with Jon D.A., co-writer of HIPSTER HOLOCAUST
Hey everybody! Over the weekend, we were featured in a an article on Crave online: “Funding the Fun Makers: Hipster Holocaust”. We were also asked to give an interview but due to the short deadline for the article the interview portion was unable to be published… But worry not! We’re publishing the article anyway!
So check it out, here’s the interview with Jon D.A., one of the co-writers of HIPSTER HOLOCAUST.
CRAVE ONLINE: How Many hipsters can we count on dying?
Jon D.A.: Great question! This was a serious issue of contention between myself and Ian (or as I like to refer to him as… “the other dude who wrote the project with me,” by which I mean the guy I have to share a credit with, because he says if I don’t give him credit he’ll “find me” and “then burn my life like a cane field in a high wind” which I guess I should point out is a quote from the film SECRET WINDOW which is Ian’s favorite film… not mine, I find it a tad too preachy, but for Ian it is literally [or is it figuratively? I can never remember!] his CITIZEN KANE).
Anyway, the answer to your question is the number of letters in the previous sentence divided by the number of skinny jeans currently in my closet .
CRAVE ONLINE: Can we expect to see some really ‘hip’ deaths? like Hipsters bludgeoned with their own Crocs, or choking on PBR?
Jon D.A.: You can expect a lot of things. Most of them of funny. Many of them bloody. But if you’re expecting a farting dragon that transforms into a jive talking African-American Hummer, then you have the wrong fucking movie… Or the right one. We need your money, so if that’s what you want, then fuck it: these robots fart up a storm and are constantly free-styling hip urban rhymes… just give us some cash… please.
But seriously folkz, if you want a lot of creative kills and clever one liners, then HIPSTER HOLOCAUST is probably going to be the film for you. And if that doesn’t appeal to you… then I’m sorry for bothering you and I promise never to come back to this Sbarro’s, again.
CRAVE ONLINE: Without completely giving it away, what’s the most gory and or creative hipster death?
Jon D.A.: Oh man, we’ve got this one kill… we take this [REDACTED] and then shove a [REDACTED] up a [REDACTED] and fill it to the top with old fashioned [REDACTED] and then laugh while the [REDACTED] totally— OH GOD, I’VE SAID TOO MUCH.
The above was a lie, but only part of it. This next part is a truth: Let’s just say that the human face is no match for the gears of a bicycle.
CRAVE ONLINE: Are there any actors attached to this project yet? Or Actors you’d like to get?
Jon D.A.: Our first choice for the starring role, Brad Pitt, passed on the project. I believe the words he used, when we met with him on top of his giant pile of money, were “this project is too awesome for me to star in, I would only ruin it.”
We’re currently in talks in with Joseph Stalin, Pol Pot and Paul Giamatti.
CRAVE ONLINE: In the recent Canadian Riot, the most iconic image was of a young couple making out int he street while the world exploded behind them. Is there room for love in Hipster Holocaust?
Jon D.A.: Those Canadians sure do love to riot, eh? If it isn’t the skyrocketing price of poutine it’s the ever increasing quality of their free healthcare. I sure do pity them. But to answer your question:
Yes, there is room for love in HIPSTER HOLOCAUST. But only if you’re down to party with a 26/M/CA and looking for erotic plushie action in the back of my dad’s Ford Taurus station wagon. BYO tear-free shampoo and Taser.
CRAVE ONLINE: Someone once said, ‘only Hipsters care about Hipsters’ Does that mean hipsters are going to love this movie?
Jon D.A.: Who said that? WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT? Was it Jeff? That motherfucker. Tell him that he’s out. TELL HIM HE’S FUCKING OUT OF THE MOVIE, I’LL JUST DO THE NUDE SCENE MYSELF. … Fine. Fuck it. Tell him he’s back in. Tell Jeff he’s back in the movie, but not because I forgive him (I don’t) but because I’m such a nice fucking guy. Also, tell him: “I love you, I’m sorry, let’s never fight again. You have such beautiful eyes.”
Don’t worry. HIPSTER HOLOCAUST is a fun, violent little comedy grindhouse trailer that has a lot less hate than it does love for hip young people who happen to be into obscure bands and tight pants. It’s going to be fast and intense and something you can share with all of your friends.
We kill because we love.
Best, Jon D.A
P.S. Please donate to our Kickstarter, we need every penny to help fund our film!
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Hi there, big spender, you know what time it is? TIME TO DIE! No joke, you get to be one of the unfortunate hipsters who meets their maker in our movie. Your grisly demise will be captured in glorious high-def and immortalized for posterity. (Airfare and travel not included.)
- (30 days)