Wishes Were What?

Wishes Were Horses will be a record of my descent into heavy masochism and consensual sexual slavery.  It will be an account of how a vaguely normal girl can become someone's personal property and pain toy, and how that could possibly be a good thing.  Though readers will not be deprived of sexual and violent detail, Wishes Were Horses will contain a real story.  It's true story about real people, though it ends up in some pretty fantastical places.  It is intended for adults.  To give you an taste, HERE you can find a draft of the story's beginning (which is not at all safe for work).

To describe my ultimate hopes for Wishes Were Horses, I'd say that I'm trying to write a non-fiction, present-day Story of O.  That is, if O had started off as a disaffected college kid whose transformation had not been planned so clearly for her.

Réage's novel has been a favorite of mine since I read it as a curious adolescent.  It reminded me of the odd daydreams I can remember having had as long as I can remember having anything.  Even as a child, my imagined handsome prince was wicked, and I was his captive, not his princess.  I know I'm not the only one like this, and I think there's an audience out there of people who'd keep Wishes Were Horses on their bookshelves or stash it under their beds.

Wishes Were Horses won't be as picturesque as Story of O and there aren't any châteaus in it or wealthy masters with harems of slaves.  However, Wishes Were Horses has the force and added edge of truth.  Though reality isn't as romantic as fiction, this tale is dreamy in its own imperfect way. 

There are strange and special people in this world, and sometimes wishes are horses.  Even incredulous beggars can ride from time to time.

Content Warning: Perhaps this will just sound enticing (it's certainly enticing subject matter to me), but in case you have a sensitivity to any of this, Wishes Were Horses will include descriptions of prolonged pain and permanent scarring (including bruising, piercing, cutting, branding, breast torture, and genital torture), bondage, humiliation, female submission, and a number of other violent and/or transgressive acts that could conceivably bother someone.

What am I paying for?

Donations for this project will be used, in part, to cover enough of my living expenses for the months of June, July, and August of 2012 that I can afford to put in the time finally to write Wishes Were Horses down.  I ran a week-long experiment over my spring break and found that I had no trouble spending over eight hours a day writing, and produced the sample I linked to above.  Because I was not mentally in shape for it going in, I spent much of that week writing material I eventually threw away and trying to shake off all the rust.  Getting funded would give me the period of immersion I need to complete this project.  I'm very excited about it, and I have no lack of material to write about, but I can't see it happening if I'm also working full-time.

Without funding at least some of my living expenses, I will need to fill my days with any job I can find, and Wishes Were Horses will have to be put off until Someday.  If I do get funding, I will commit a bare minimum of 40 hours a week to writing, plus however much more it takes to produce a draft worthy of submitting for publication by the end of August.  If you can help me meet my funding goal, at least half of the money donated will be put into seeking publication, a process that will start in September of 2012.

Thank You

Thank you for reading and getting to know my ideas somewhat.  I hope that I'll be able to put a book in your hands soon!

~ Zil