My life: A sadomasochistic fairy tale.
Wishes Were What?
Wishes Were Horses will be a record of my descent into heavy masochism and consensual sexual slavery. It will be an account of how a vaguely normal girl can become someone's personal property and pain toy, and how that could possibly be a good thing. Though readers will not be deprived of sexual and violent detail, Wishes Were Horses will contain a real story. It's true story about real people, though it ends up in some pretty fantastical places. It is intended for adults. To give you an taste, HERE you can find a draft of the story's beginning (which is not at all safe for work).
To describe my ultimate hopes for Wishes Were Horses, I'd say that I'm trying to write a non-fiction, present-day Story of O. That is, if O had started off as a disaffected college kid whose transformation had not been planned so clearly for her.
Réage's novel has been a favorite of mine since I read it as a curious adolescent. It reminded me of the odd daydreams I can remember having had as long as I can remember having anything. Even as a child, my imagined handsome prince was wicked, and I was his captive, not his princess. I know I'm not the only one like this, and I think there's an audience out there of people who'd keep Wishes Were Horses on their bookshelves or stash it under their beds.
Wishes Were Horses won't be as picturesque as Story of O and there aren't any châteaus in it or wealthy masters with harems of slaves. However, Wishes Were Horses has the force and added edge of truth. Though reality isn't as romantic as fiction, this tale is dreamy in its own imperfect way.
There are strange and special people in this world, and sometimes wishes are horses. Even incredulous beggars can ride from time to time.
Content Warning: Perhaps this will just sound enticing (it's certainly enticing subject matter to me), but in case you have a sensitivity to any of this, Wishes Were Horses will include descriptions of prolonged pain and permanent scarring (including bruising, piercing, cutting, branding, breast torture, and genital torture), bondage, humiliation, female submission, and a number of other violent and/or transgressive acts that could conceivably bother someone.
What am I paying for?
Donations for this project will be used, in part, to cover enough of my living expenses for the months of June, July, and August of 2012 that I can afford to put in the time finally to write Wishes Were Horses down. I ran a week-long experiment over my spring break and found that I had no trouble spending over eight hours a day writing, and produced the sample I linked to above. Because I was not mentally in shape for it going in, I spent much of that week writing material I eventually threw away and trying to shake off all the rust. Getting funded would give me the period of immersion I need to complete this project. I'm very excited about it, and I have no lack of material to write about, but I can't see it happening if I'm also working full-time.
Without funding at least some of my living expenses, I will need to fill my days with any job I can find, and Wishes Were Horses will have to be put off until Someday. If I do get funding, I will commit a bare minimum of 40 hours a week to writing, plus however much more it takes to produce a draft worthy of submitting for publication by the end of August. If you can help me meet my funding goal, at least half of the money donated will be put into seeking publication, a process that will start in September of 2012.
Thank you for reading and getting to know my ideas somewhat. I hope that I'll be able to put a book in your hands soon!
Have a question? If the info above doesn't help, you can ask the project creator directly.
pledged of $2,500 goal
seconds to go
Apr 24, 2012 - May 24, 2012 (30 days)
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HORSEMAKER PACK: My (Zil's) infinite gratitude, an increase in the chances of this story making its way to the page (and, consequently, your brain), and the knowledge that you helped make horses out of wishes.Estimated delivery: May 2012
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READER PACK: All of the above, plus a PDF copy of the book when completed.Estimated delivery: Sep 2012
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FAN PACK: All of the above, plus a thank-you postcard written and signed by Zil.Estimated delivery: Sep 2012
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ALLY PACK: All of the above, plus your name or preferred alias in the book's acknowledgements.Estimated delivery: Sep 2012
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BOOKWORM PACK: All of the above, plus a signed hard copy of the book when published. International buyers should donate an additional $10 to offset shipping costs.Estimated delivery: Jan 2013
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INTERROGATOR PACK: Same as the bookworm pack, plus an invitation to an online Q&A session with Zil.Estimated delivery: Jan 2013
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1 backer Limited (3 of 4 left)
A cilice collar, similar to the one featured in the story and pictured in the video, handcrafted by Zil herself. This collar is made made from copper-core silver and closes with a ribbon tie. At a glance, it looks like delicate silver maille, but each link has two inward-facing points to remind the wearer to keep his or her chin up. I (Zil) am happy to discuss sizing and specifications with interested donors. International buyers should donate an additional $10 to offset shipping costs.Estimated delivery: Oct 2012
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1 backer All gone!
BEST FRIEND PACK: Same as the interrogator pack, plus an individual online Q&A session with Zil and another main character.Estimated delivery: Jan 2013
Pledge $200 or more
0 backers Limited (2 of 2 left)
A pair of Zil's handmade thigh cilices. Similar to those pictured in the video and featured in the story, these pretty torture devices are made from copper-core silver and crafted, link by link, by Zil herself. They are designed to be tied tightly around the thighs, points facing inward, and cause quite a bit of relentless pain when worn, and significantly more intense pain when walked in. They can be worn entirely discreetly under clothing. They cut the walking speed of the wearer way down, and wearing only one induces a significant limp. The points can be dulled or sharpened by request, and I (Zil) am happy to discuss sizing and specifications with interested buyers. International buyers should donate an additional $10 to offset shipping costs.Estimated delivery: Nov 2012
Pledge $500 or more
0 backers Limited (1 of 1 left)
A full set of metal cilices, like those featured in the story and pictured in the video. This set of pretty and painful posture devices ensures that the wearer will keep his or her chin up, rear out, and spine in a lovely s-curve... or suffer the consequences. The set includes two thigh bands, a belt, and a collar. They induce quite a bit of pain when the wearer is resting, and even more when he or she is put into motion or an incompatible position. The points on the thigh bands and belt can be sharpened or blunted by request, but the collar's points will be blunted for safety reasons. I (Zil) am happy to discuss sizing and specifications with interested donators. International buyers should donate an additional $10 to offset shipping costs.Estimated delivery: Nov 2012